Anyone got time to read this?

I'm coming to the end of a project and am debating what to do next.
The following is the first 30 pages of a comedy/drama called 'Another Kendall Padgett Production'.
I put it on hold because a) paid work turned up and b) there seemed to be a general downer on 'media' scenarios.
Still not sure wether its a stand alone film or the basis of a series/sit-com.
Anyone with half an hour to spare to give it the once over?

http://www.sendspace.com/file/lmxayz

This is the current logline:

Embittered, ageing TV producer, Kendall Padgett, tries to break back into TV by rigging a reality show,turning a documentary about a couples first baby into a study in infidelity.
When the couple lose the baby, Kendall has to decide how far you go to make good TV.

If it helps, I had Richard E Grant in mind for the role of Kendall.

Thanks

Film, Sitcom? Not important, really. The thing is it's funny and works well. If pushed I'd say it's more Sitcom than film. But it's very good anyway you look at it.
Best of luck - it's the best script I've read in a long while.

Hi Lazzard, firstly, I'd agree with Stephen that it is the best script I've read in a long time. I enjoyed a lot of the dialogue and laughed out loud a few times.

That said, I completely understand your concerns about it being media based, I have always thought this put producers off. There's an awful lot of reality TV around at the moment though, and I think it's a nice idea to poke fun at that aspect of the industry.

I did have a few observations on the script. Having read the tag line, I assumed that the first scene was part of Kendall's doc as he was trying to sex it up. To me, this negated the need for the conversation in the pub where they hit on the idea of sexing up a fly on the wall as he had seemingly already had that idea.

I wasn't sure if Suzie was really the niece, I thought probably yes. If that was the case I would have thought Kendall would have known about her already.

She seemed to take to the job of writing the pitch too easily along with hiring a crew. How would she know where to start? In fact, she seemed to be the one with all the good ideas and I felt that was too convenient.

From Kendall's initial reaction, she was clearly an attractive woman, she was intelegent and hard working, Kendall was paying her 1500 a week. I didn't therefore feel it was right for her to be seducing the husband to spice up the show as I couldn't see her motivation. She could presumably have sex if she wanted it and was capable of earning money in numerous other ways.

I'm thinking about this as I type so please forgive the ramble but I would suggest the opening scene is something unrelated, boring and mundane, or downright ridiculous. Then, Kendall meets Johnny in the pub with Suzie, who has just been made redundant from BBC/ITV/Indi due to the cuts brought on by a change of government. She has a massive mortgage and a shocking Jimmy Choo habit not to mention the payments on the boat in the bahamas. She needs to work fast. So, she may agree to seduce Ben because she's desperate, or maybe she bears a grudge against him and wants revenge. Or, maybe she lines up a string of prostitutes to sleep with him instead. If the doc is really about infidelity, presumably there would need to be more than one incident and possibly more than one woman?

That's my thoughts, for what it's worth.

I think S x BAON's thoughts are worth a lot.

I enjoyed this, beautifully written with a strong lead character, and I was intrigued with where it was going. (Do you know?) Without knowing that it is difficult to comment on Suzie's motivation.

Although it is set in the media, the generational culture clash is a universal theme. It has the feel of a mini-series, but you are going to need enough twists to sustain it.

I think there is something to Steve's comment about the opening scene. It is funny, but it does undermine the premise.

Top of the range comments, guys and thanks for taking the time. I too am wavering on the opening scene - it doesn't really earn it's place does it?

I think the 'needs the money route' might be the way to go with Suzie too.
In the end she 'finds' he moral compass before Kendall does - she doesn't want to use the 'losing the baby' footage whilst Kendall is tempted by offers of further work from 'Reality' Jackson - who thinks it'll make a great Shock Doc. In the end Kendall is persuaded to do the right thing and they turn the tables on the guy.

Timbo - glad you appreciated the culture clash thing. I only saw it through the eyes of old luvvie advertising producers who lived a charmed existance in the 70's, 80's and early 90's - only to see it all crash and burn when things tightened up. It produced some brilliant characters - very different from the faceless company men who inhabited the business when I left it. From my limited experience I think pretty much the same thing has happened in Broadcast.

Thanks again.

Quote: Lazzard @ May 3 2010, 3:31 PM BST

From my limited experience I think pretty much the same thing has happened in Broadcast.

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Sadly I think something similar has happened in most walks off life. It is something that people will relate to even if the particulars are not precisely the same.