DAVE IS SITTING IN A BAR HIMSELF. SIPPING HIS PINT HE GLANCES TO HIS LEFT AS THOUGH SOMEONE IS STARING.
DAVE (Putting down his pint)
I'm sorry darling, I know you've been giving me the eyes all night but your really not my type. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to finish this pint and watch the football.
CUT TO : MEDUSA SCOWLING AT DAVE
Is this the effects of LSD or am I missing something? If Dave's on his own where does "stone me" the old Snake Haired, horror pop up from?
I think it's fine, you need to change the directions to make more sense with what is actually going on though, just that he is talking to someone out of view (OOV).
Cheers Adam. With my often rushed sketches and ideas the detail does lack sometimes.
I'll amend the direction so it is clearer what is going on.
Birchman I thought you would have worked your way round the fact Medusa was sitting in the pub just not beside him. When I said he was by himself, I meant sitting himself not the only person in the bar. Apologies for my misleading information.
It's a nice idea. Perhaps if we heard a woman's voice out of view trying to get the man's attention but he's too engrossed in the football to look at her. Then at the end the reveal is Medusa and the bar full of men stone statues holding a pint. Just some thoughts.
Thanks Nigel, some nice ideas there. Will try stretch it out a little and detail it a little better.