I'm bored and I left my mobi at work.
So entertain me.
As you know David Cameron bounds around the country like a posh spaniel. Talking to all sorts of people; fat, thing, stupid, paedophilic, quadrospazzed and they all tell him things.
So who are you? And what did you tell Dave?
Me first.
Dave sez.
Yesterday an unsuccesful comedy writer with a paedo beard told me; that Etonian bullys want to molest the BBC and give the welfare state a wedgie.