Nick Clegg and Vince Cable are having a meeting.
Clegg is on the phone.
Clegg : No, no. It has to be May 7th. Make sure it's a big truck; I've got a lot of stuff to move <beat> mainly fifteen years of broken dreams, but of course all that's over now. Different world. Right. So see you at about Eight, don't be late I've got a meeting at Palace planned for later on. Okay, then. Bye.
Clegg puts down phone
Clegg : Shit! Didn't tell them which number Downing Street. Oh forget it, I'll tell em it's the one with the copper outside.
Vince : You know there is one thing worrying me about all this.
Clegg : What?
Vince : What do Governments actually do?
Heavy Silence Fills the Room.
Vince : We need to ask someone. Quick.
Clegg : Don't worry Charles will know.
Vince : I doubt it, he's been making the most of the fact that the tax rise on Cider didn't happen.
Clegg : Shit. Ming?
Vince : Ming's had dementia for the last ten years, we just didn't tell anyone.
Clegg : Paddy?
Vince : No.
Clegg : Steel?
Vince : Steel? F**k off!
Clegg : So who can we ask in the party about Government?
Vince : Lloyd George.
Clegg: Where's he?
Vince : He's f**king well dead Nick. Died, 65 f**king years ago.
Clegg : So, there is no one to ask.
Vince : No.
Clegg : We're screwed. We can't go into government like this.
Vince : Can I make I suggestion.
Clegg : Yes please.
Vince : Do the next f**king debate with your flies open.
(Bit of naughty language though!)