Another recent Skit Comp entry. Any suggestions?
DOCTOR:
What seems to be the problem?
SUE:
I can't sleep, can't eat.
DOCTOR:
When did this start?
SUE:
Sunday morning.
DOCTOR:
OK...
SUE:
Then I discovered these bumps on my neck.
DOCTOR:
Let's have a look.
<CHECKS SUE'S NECK>
Were you at that new nightclub on Saturday night?
SUE:
Errr, yeah.
DOCTOR:
Invite a pale, yet strangely attractive guy back to yours?
SUE:
Oh my god! It's not an STD is it?
DOCTOR:
No, but it is bad news.
SUE:
Tell me straight.
DOCTOR:
You're a vampire.
SUE:
What? A vampire?
DOCTOR:
Yes, you've got 'Bloodsucker by proxy'. There's a lot of it going round at the moment.
SUE:
You can't be serious.
DOCTOR:
Deadly, or 'Undeadly' in your case.
SUE:
Why me?
DOCTOR:
Well, you need to take a long hard long at yourself.
SUE:
I've got no reflection!
DOCTOR:
Look on the bright side.
SUE:
I can't, it burns my skin.
DOCTOR:
At worst, you'll live for another thousand years, provided you get plenty of human blood.
SUE:
Can I get a prescription for that?
DOCTOR:
Not anymore, NHS cutbacks!
SUE:
But I've got BUPA.
DOCTOR:
Well, why didn't you say so?
<RELEASES COLLAR AND EXPOSES NECK>
Here, have a suck on that.
SUE:
Aren't you scared I'll bleed you dry?
DOCTOR:
I was going to ask you the same thing.
