The Science of Slacking by CJ Beadle
I'm a university student and as such I like to think I know a thing or two about slacking. I used have two massive gaps between my lectures on a Monday; a three hour gap and a two hour gap. Well, technically I had two two hour gaps, but after one hour of Accounting I would be so suicidal that by the half way point break I'd leave so fast I'm sure I left a CJ-shaped cloud on more than one occasion. Still, when I had coursework due in these gaps were a blessing as I'd have 2 hours in the library working solid, then a break in the form of a class, then another 2 hours to continue my work. It's a depressing sign of just how little work you have to do in classes when you consider them a break, but still. When I didn't have any work due in though, what was I meant to do with this time? My choices were:
1.Sit on campus, hoping I bumped into someone. This required sitting on my own praying I'd see someone I knew, until I finally gave up and slunk away, the judgemental gazes of all the popular people burning into my spine like a pyromaniac acupuncturist.
2.Go to the library and read some of the recommended texts, or study ahead for my exams. However, I was a student, thus I am fairly sure it is forbidden in the university rules for me to work other than when strictly necessary.
3.Go home. I had a two hour gap and the walk to my house was around 30 minute. This meant I had an hour in which I could be amazingly unproductive. Seriously, I mean so lazy that I'd consider hooking myself up to an iron lung just so I wouldn't have to breathe myself.
I often chose option three, as I'm sure you can imagine. But damn near all my friends would judge me for this, the idea of walking to uni and back three times in one day seemed unfathomable to them. I won't lie, I'm a lazy person, but I'm efficient in my laziness. One hour of laziness at home is equal to at least three hours on campus; therefore I'm better off walking home. That's maths people, you cannot argue with its cold, hard logic. Now I'm sure some of you mathematical purists will disagree, claiming that it's based on a subjective assumption rather than an objectively quantifiable subject, but to you I say this: Welcome to the internet. Here writing on walls is socialising instead of vandalism, there are a near infinite number of sites but you will still find yourself spending hours in front of the screen bored and crackpots can claim any opinion as fact, and anyone who disagrees is just a "noob" or "troll".
So remember kids; slack smart, not hard