British Comedy Guide

The worst job interview you've had Page 3

A few years ago when I was on the dole I was applying for jobs left, right and centre. I ended up going for a landscape gardening job but I thought it was to do with IT. I arrived with some IT part time course details asking if I could go on day release to get trained up in computers - it was a short interview.

Very embarrassing! A sort of Whose Line situation. It reminds me of when I went on a computing course and after the 20 minute introduction, someone at the back stood up and tried to sidle out unobtrusively (from a room full of computers) concluding that he probably wasn't in the right room for the pottery class.

I once was interviewing care assistants from 9-5 for 3 days highlights included,

"I cared for my mother till she died,"
"I have a very strong will, I can make other people see things my way,"
Response to question "What are your strengths,
silence,
"What good things would your last employer say about you?"
silence,
"What would your best friend say thats good about you?"
"Can I take the question home, and phone you with an answer tomorrow,"

I had an interview for a graphic design job at Saga in Folkestone a few years ago which is the area my wife hails from. It would have been a bit a shift to live down there but I figured that we had the chance to have a nicer standard of living and live by the see.

I took 2 days off, stayed with my wife's relatives and got well acquainted with the area and the business and all went well. I passed the set tests and interview went swimmingly and I was offered the job.

Problem was it was for a salary that was £500 less than I was on. I tried to negotiate upwards but alas no - what a f**king waste of time! Angry

That's why I rarely apply for a position where I don't get details of salary in advance.

It wasn't an interview but it was an important presentation, so important that I felt it needed jazzing up a little. So I livened it up with several lines from 'Return to Sender'. I added a slight lip curl and the obligatory leg shake. I finished with a 'huh huh' in true Elvis style. Not a titter, I looked around the gathering and my eyes finally fell on the Director who had hired me, I have never since seen such a look of bewilderment.

My worst interview was held in a tiny office with just enough room for the desk myself and the 2 interviewers.It was going great until i felt i needed to fart,i lifted my left cheek slightly and thought i'd let out a little fart.Unfortunately it was a stonkingly loud raspberry fart.I didnt know whether to say sorry and acknowledge it or not,it took 2 or 3 seconds of me thinking whether to apologise and make a joke of it by which time it was too late so i said nothing(during this time the interviewers looked at each other then me but kept straight faces)Anyway i carried on answering the question they'd asked then a few seconds later came the stench - IT WAS A BEAUTY! ( A SCOTCH EGG AND LAGER SPECIAL!).This was really embarassing,the smell just didnt want to leave the room.I wanted to burst out laughin but could'nt and the interviewers just looked stunned!
Amazingly I got the job but left during my dinner break on the first day.It was rubbish.

Quote: Matt Webb @ February 22, 2008, 1:15 AM

My worst interview was held in a tiny office with just enough room for the desk myself and the 2 interviewers.It was going great until i felt i needed to fart,i lifted my left cheek slightly and thought i'd let out a little fart.Unfortunately it was a stonkingly loud raspberry fart.I didnt know whether to say sorry and acknowledge it or not,it took 2 or 3 seconds of me thinking whether to apologise and make a joke of it by which time it was too late so i said nothing(during this time the interviewers looked at each other then me but kept straight faces)Anyway i carried on answering the question they'd asked then a few seconds later came the stench - IT WAS A BEAUTY! ( A SCOTCH EGG AND LAGER SPECIAL!).This was really embarassing,the smell just didnt want to leave the room.I wanted to burst out laughin but could'nt and the interviewers just looked stunned!
Amazingly I got the job but left during my dinner break on the first day.It was rubbish.

Laughing out loud
You smelly boy!

There are some crackers on here. Charley's is the grimmest by far though, I think.

When I was about 16 I had a job in the grocery department at Safeway with a bunch of slack-jawed c**ts. I'd told the manager that I couldn't start the Saturday shift until 12 because I had drama rehearsals. He had said this was ok. Every week without fail the bastard would start me off at nine, so I took to changing the rotor with my obtrusive red pen. The perfect crime. Needless to say they weren't too impressed, especially as I stopped going to about 50% of my shifts in favour of a pint and a pie at the pub instead. When they called me into the office (after one of the staff had threatened to knock me out) my opening salvo was "fire away", which they duly did.

Charley's is AMAZING. Laughing out loud
But Matt Webb's is pretty damn good too. I can't believe he got the job.

Mm, Matt's ran second. Funny.

I am celebrating. Just got a fab new job. Wooooooooooooo!
PS. Hope they dont google me.

Laughing out loud

Oooh! Congratumalations.

What is it?

Probably something unspeakably rudey.

And Matt: Laughing out loud What WAS the job?!

Worse interview I ever had was when I was 14 and went for a saturday job at New Look. I was this tubby spotty thing in second hand clothes and the mega cow manager practally laughed me out of the room! I ran (waddled quickly) home in tears!

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