DERREN BROWN IS DRAGGED ON STAGE BY ALISTAIR CAMPBELL AND HARRIET HARMAN
HE HAS A BLINDFOLD
HARRIET PULLS OFF THE BLINDFOLD
DERREN
Who are you? Why have you kidnapped me? I'm Derren Brown I'll glue you to your sofas for a million years and make you gay. I can you know.
HARRIET
Shut up you're the new Paul Daniels and you know it.
ALISTAIR
Calm down he may be a gay Great Suprendo but we need his powers.
DERREN
What do you need from the Great Mind Bender?
HARRIET
If Gordon loses the election he's going to lose his temper and throws his mobile at the whole country.
ALISTAIR
And by mobile phone we mean he'll nuke us all with Trident.
DERREN
Oh crikey what can I do?
HARRIET
Could you appear on telly and hypnotise the entire population into voting labor?
DERREN
Force 60 million to simultaneously do something complete irrational and stupid? Even I don't have that power.
HARRIET
I always said he was fake. I'm off, I'm HArriet Harman you know where to find me.
ALISTAIR
Wait there is another way, Derren could you convince Gordon to accept he's lost. And gracefully leave office and manage a garden centre or something.
DERREN
Hmm convince Gordon to lose gracefully? So to convince everyone to vote Labor would I get a party political brpadcast or something?