A CONSERVATIVE POLLSTER KNOCKS ON A DOOR A MAN ANSWERS IT
POLLSTER
Good evening sir. Could you spare 5 minutes to talk about what the Conservatives can offer Britain?
MAN
No need for that.
POLLSTER
Oh dear you're not going to hit me are you?
MAN
No I read your manifesto. And I believe the NHS can be saved by making massive effincey savings and the whole welfare state can be easily replaced by some improbably big society.
POLLSTER
Excuse me sir.
POLLSTER STARTS TEXTING AND EMAILING WITH HIS PHONE.
A CROWD GATHERS EXPECTANTLY EVENTUALLY FILLING THE STREET.
POLLSTER TURNS TO THEM.
POLLSTER
This man actually believes our manifesto.
MAN
I am the worlds stupidest man.
CROWD LAUGHS AND POINTS
MAN DIES INSIDE