Hey Ho. 
Rather ruthless re write of the knight and castle sketch myself and Bigfella did a while back.
Would really like to get your most sought opinion. thanks as always.
EXT. A CASTLE IN A FIELD. DAY.
FAMILIES ARE MILLING AROUND ENJOYING A DAY OUT. A KNIGHT IN A SUIT OF ARMOUR ( KNIGHT ) RUNS UP TO THE ADMISSION BOOTH. HE LIFTS THE VISOR OF HIS HELMET.
KNIGHT:
Hear me footman. I have come to give warning. The Black Knight is close behind me and he has ruin in his eye. The King must be warned, let me pass.
THE KNIGHT GOES TO WALK THROUGH THE TURNSTYLE. IT REFUSES TO MOVE.
ATTENDANT:
It's seven pounds fifty for an adult. But if your friend is under twelve, you can both come in for ten pounds.
KNIGHT:
The Black Knight is a friend of no man. He keeps only one companion; savagery. I must see The King.
ATTENDANT:
It's seven pounds fifty for an adult.
HE PRODUCERS A SMALL BAG AND GIVES THE ATTENDANT SOME COINS.
KNIGHT: (CONT'D)
Here, Judus, take your twelve pieces of silver, I hope you think it is worth it.
ATTENDANT:
You get a free audio tour and map of the castle
KNIGHT:
Foolish Knave. I have no time for this, I must rush to the throne.
ATTENDANT:
Can't you hold it until after the tour? It's only ten minutes, all the highlights. But if you really must It's on your way out next to the gift shop.
KNIGHT:
If I do not make haste disaster will befall these walls.
ATTENDANT:
Yeah s'pose it must take a while with all the gear on, you don't want to be called the brown knight do you? Go on, Through you go, remember, just past the gift shop. I marked it on the map for you.
THE KNIGHT GOES THROUGH THE TURNSTILE.
CUT TO:
INT. URINAL
THE KNIGHT BURSTS INTO THE TOILET AND RUNS TO THE FIRST CUBICLE. HE PULLS OPEN THE DOOR.
A MAN IN IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A MAGAZINE. THE KNIGHT KNEELS ON ONE KNEE.
KNIGHT:
Your Majesty. I bring grave news, The Black Knight approaches from the East. He will slay us all.
MAN:
Erm...Maybe you should you tell the security guys?
KNIGHT:
Indeed Sire. As you wisely command.
MAN:
What a helmet!
THE KNIGHT RUSHES OFF.
CUT TO.
EXT. CASTLE GROUNDS.
THE KNIGHT, A SECURITY GUARD AND THE ATTENDANT FROM THE ADMISSION BOOTH, RUN TOWARDS THE CASTLE ENTRANCE.
KNIGHT:
You will need your most sturdy defences. Only the hardiest barricade will stop him. He has war and death in his eye.
ATTENDANT:
I thought you said he had ruin in it.
KNIGHT:
The other eye you fool.
KNIGHT:
He's hell bent on terror.
SECURITY GUARD:
No one gets past this.
THE SECURITY GUARD GETS OUT TWO SMALL POSTS AND PLACES THEM EITHER SIDE OF THE ENTRANCE. HE THEN CONNECTS THEM WITH A RED ROPE.
SECURITY GUARD:
No one goes past the rope.
KNIGHT:
You jest. Oh how you jest.
SECURITY GUARD:
I haven't finished yet.
THE SECURITY GUARD PLACES A WOODEN PLAQUE WITH A NOTICE ON IT JUST BEHIND THE ROPE. IT READS:
No Visitors Beyond This Point. Thank You.
END.
