The idea behind this made me laugh, but I'm not sure if I'm phrasing it properly. Any comments greatly appreciated...
Harry started training as a sword swallower at the age of fifteen. It took five years to learn the basics, and another ten years to become a master of the art. Then he quit. I had to ask. "Why did you quit, Harry?"
"I didn't enjoy it", he said.
Made me laugh too Drew. I'd definitely re-write and tidy it up.
Laughed too. I would increase the difficulty involved in training to add to the punch. Nice little gag tho. 
Made me smile. Don't really know where it could sit though, sketch, cartoon etc.
The idea is very nice. I felt it could do with a little elaboration but nice all the same.
Nice one.
It's a good idea, and it made me laugh, but if you built up the training, as suggested, the 'I didn't enjoy it' line will work. But as it stands I was expecting a different punch. Maybe 'I'm allergic to metal' or 'I kept getting a sharp pain in my stomach' or 'It set off my fillings'.
I didn't really get it.
Nice idea Drew. Perhaps you could mention something like 'I started off swallowing pen knives then I worked my way up.'
Quote: bigfella @ March 31 2010, 8:37 PM BSTI didn't really get it.
I May be wrong, but I thought it was the fact that he'd spent so long training & then says he didn't like it, which he could or would have surely worked out earlier during that 15 years.
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ March 31 2010, 8:46 PM BSTI May be wrong, but I thought it was the fact that he'd spent so long training & then says he didn't like it, which he could or would have surely worked out earlier during that 15 years.
Ah.
Thats sort of what I thought.
It didn't tickle me then. Sorry Drew.
Thanks to all for the feedback - this is very helpful.
I guess the idea behind the joke is that there is an element of masochism to sword swallowing - holding the head back at a sharp angle and slowly inserting a sword whilst suppressing the (overwhelming) urge to gag.
So the joke is that although a sword swallower might enjoy the applause and the kudos, he or she can't reasonably expect to enjoy it on a physical level ... hence the punch line, "I didn't enjoy it!"
I thought that emphasizing his dedication in learning might be a good way to build up the punch line - but maybe this is a red herring.
Version 2:
Harry used to be a sword swallower, but he quit. When I asked him why he gave up, he said "I didn't enjoy it".
I think it still needs a bit more work ...
Cheers everyone!
Quote: Drew @ March 31 2010, 10:03 PM BSTI guess the idea behind the joke is that there is an element of masochism to sword swallowing - holding the head back at a sharp angle and slowly inserting a sword whilst suppressing the (overwhelming) urge to gag.
Perhaps you should make the sword swallower female!?
I can't believe that my explanation was funnier than the joke itself! 
Quote: AngieBaby @ March 31 2010, 10:40 PM BSTPerhaps you should make the sword swallower female!?
