Pope Benedict forgives you
Channel 5 makes a documentary about you
Your drycleaner spits and crosses himself when he sees you
Crosses bleed in your presence
You are Pope Benedict
Sootyj makes a documentary about you
Tony Blair and Dave Cameron are your Facebook friends.
Cats run from your shadow
You buy Werther's Originals cos kids can't resist them.
You advertise stuff for Iceland.
Beat that lot you rebels.
You use the phrase "bail out" more than once in a budget review.
You don't leave your microwave meal 1 minute after it's finished cooking as adviced.
You can stand the sulphurous odour of George Osbourne.
You forget to salute her majesty and sing the national anthem before going to bed. I have never forgotten to do this, even when incapacitated by drink, Maam.
Crikey are you Prince Philip? In which case can I sell you some racist gags?
If you find yourself sat on the third step of the stairs.