Mums and dads dropping their little cherubs off at nursery school.
TEACHER
Right boy’s and girl’s wave goodbye to mummy & daddy.
THE KIDS CHOROUS BYEBYE. (The teacher mutters,"yey f**koff" under his breath)
TEACHER
Right boys & girls today’s lesson is going to be….. You CAN always get what you want. He turns to write (chocolate) on the blackboard.
TEACHER
Who likes Chocolate.
20 little hands go up.
TEACHER
Right boys & girls. Get on the floor & shimmy on closer to me. Closer still, a little bit closer.
Right. How often when you are shopping with your parents, and you politely ask for a small, inexpensive measly ol' chocolate bar, do you poor little things get told a blatant unnecessary NO?
20 little hands go up.
TEACHER
Right well I am going to teach you how you can achieve that chocolate.
First off when you have asked and rudely been told NO, you pout your bottom lip. Then if that doesn’t work you start to cry. Pinching yourself is a quick way of obtaining tears. Try that now children.
20 little babies pinch themselves & start to cry.
TEACHER
See easy peasy, anyhoo, if your wicked parents say something like “Cry all you want, you are not having that 30p chocolate bar”, then start to scream, squeal, holler, and stamp your feet and wail. Cause a right scene. People will start to look, your parents will start to feel embarrassed. Mostly this does work children. On the off chance it doesn’t, just get that 30p chocolate bar and stuff it down your pants when no one is looking. Steal the bastard.
Now children remember the rules, cause a scene or steal. Now lets pretend we never had this conversation & tomorrow our lesson will be…..How to get your brother or sister blamed for something you did followed by next weeks how to turn your parents against them.
20 little hands make notes.
