British Comedy Guide

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Tube

Camera continues on it's route, it passes two men on wooden benches outside a pub, they have pints and mobile phones, there is background noise of a noisy pub.

Man1
Is that the time, our wives are going to kill us.

Man2
Watch the master,

Dials his phone

Man2
Hi Carole, sorry I'm going to be late.....where am I?......how could you say I'm down the pub, nah I'm a tube train it's been delayed......what's that noise?.......no it's not a pub it's screams, yeh Al Quaeda blew the tube up, it's a disgrace......now don't cry love I'm fine.....I'm with Pete he's lost his leg

Points the phone at Man2 gestures eventually elbows him.

Man1
Oh right, ooh ouch my leg, I'm in so much pain, bloody terrorists you can't keep London down.

Man2
I mean I could hurry home, I mean I was going to help Pete look for his leg, but I'm sure he'll be fine with out lots of work for one legged post men......no dear I don't think you're being selfish.....I'll be home soon just finish rustling through this pile of severed limbs, you sure you don't want a women's leg Phil only the Mrs wants me home sharpish.

Man1s phone rings, he answers it

Man1
Valerie sorry I'm late, but something happened.

He gives Man2 a big wink

Man1
Yeh our tube was blown up by gay terrorists, yeh Al Gay-dar, I'm fine Terry had his head blown off, I'm helping him look for it.

Man2
You total f**kwit Phil,

Slaps him round the head

Man1
Ow what did I do Terry?

Camera reaches London Bridge, and climbs the side as if readying into jump looks down at the water.

Nice sketch sooty. It needs some fine tuning but mainly grammar checks and tightening up. The idea as ever with you is brilliant.

Quote: Craig H @ March 22 2010, 9:44 AM GMT

Nice sketch sooty. It needs some fine tuning but mainly grammar checks and tightening up. The idea as ever with you is brilliant.

Laughing out loud Very funny sketch. There's not a lot I can say apart from that.

Coolio look forward to it being Cotterfied.

You could always play one character in each vingiette.

Quote: sootyj @ March 22 2010, 10:08 PM GMT

You could always play one character in each vingiette.

Like when Nicholas Lyndhurst starred as all four family members in a series of adverts for WHSmith?

Kinda thing yeh that's what I was thinking.

But maybe more Kind hearts and Coronets?

Quote: sootyj @ March 23 2010, 2:23 PM GMT

Kinda thing yeh that's what I was thinking.

But maybe more Kind hearts and Coronets?

Alec Guinness played eight people in that. I can cope with two but eight may just stretch my acting ability Smarmy and if anyone says anything then Angry

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