Whose Line Is It Anyway?

Hey all..the forum seems a little dead so I've worked on a doctor doctor type number and think it's a nice setup for everyone to throw their tuppence worth at for the final punchline:

Pete and his wife Ellen enter the doctors room.

DOCTOR
Mr White. Please, take a seat. I'm afraid it's bad news.

Mr. White covers his face as his wife comforts him.

ELLEN
Is it cancer? tell me it's not cancer

DOCTOR
It's not cancer

ELLEN
Oh thank god

DOCTOR
It's much worse

ELLEN
What!? Worse than cancer?

DOCTOR
Yes. I'm afraid you have a serious case of Creditcrunchitess Mr White.

ELLEN
Oh my god. No. Not my Pete. Is there nothing you can do doctor, nothing?!?

DOCTOR
Well. There is one thing.

ELLEN
What!?

DOCTOR
?

Sorry, you said "is there nothing you can do". And that's the one thing I can do.

A ROBOTIC LAMB CHOP ENTERS THE ROOM.

LAMB CHOP: ( Computer Voice )
Stop looking at prams. All will be well.

ELLEN:
Will this work?

Doctor:
Yes.

END.

Quote: scratchyr @ March 16 2010, 6:56 PM GMT

A ROBOTIC LAMB CHOP ENTERS THE ROOM.

LAMB CHOP: ( Computer Voice )
Stop looking at prams. All will be well.

ELLEN:
Will this work?

Doctor:
Yes.

END.

View original

DOCTOR
Bear with me.

DOCTOR PULLS OPEN A DRAWER UNDER HIS DESK, REVEALING AN ONION AND A GRENADE. HE PICKS UP THE GRENADE. HE PUTS IT UNDERNEATH HIMSELF AND EXPLODES THROUGH THE ROOF.

EXT. UP IN THE SKY - DAY

THE DOCTOR GLEEFULLY SPINS AROUND LIKE A BIRD.

CUT TO:

DOCTOR WAKES UP IN BED PANTING HEAVILY NEXT TO HIS WIFE.

DOCTOR
Oh Sarah, I had that wonderful dream again.

SARAH
Oh, f**k off!

THE END

DOCTOR
Well. There is one thing.

ELLEN
What!?

DOCTOR
Sing him this song. 'I know a bear that you don't know, Yogi, Yogi.'

ELLEN:
Will that cure him doctor?

DOCTOR:
Nope but it'll brighten up the hospice.

DOCTOR
Well. There is one thing.

ELLEN
What!?

DOCTOR
All I need you to do is look into that Camera up there and say "I'm on Doctors do the funniest things"

ELLEN:
You mean..? So this is..? And you're just...

DOCTOR:
Giving you false hope? yes I am. Now please take your Husband away quickly before he dies.

Pelvic floor exercises to loosen your gluteus maximus, I've heard you're a right tight arse.

Its funny how a sketch can swing depending on ones humour.

Definitely all good.

Robotic lamb chops are the future.

PETE jumps up and runs out of the room:

DOCTOR: There's nothing we can do now, he's petered out to soon.

DOCTOR
Did I say, 'I'm afraid you have a serious case of Creditcrunchitess Mr White.'?

ELLEN
Yes, you did.

DOCTOR
I'm sorry! What I meant to say was. 'Credit this! I'm Afraid of Crunchie White Misters, you Case!'

ELLEN
Serious?

DOCTOR
Ay 'tis.

*Ok, having read that back, it's totally silly, but it made me laugh.*

DOCTOR:
Pay me in cash.

Love it Alex. Only one to refer to the actual disease too!