I apologise in advance...

...for anyone I offend with my fervent and intolerant views. Tomorrow I plan to finish my second sitcom(*) so am bracing myself for a slew of rejections. Each letter that lands on my doorstep will only add to the fury I have at the punctilious dullards who like to keep the industry amongst the in-crowd.

That said, long term lurker with GSOH sticks his head above the parapet. I bring biscuits - help yourselves. I mean you no harm. The more friendly ones amongst you can have jaffa cakes or hob nobs, but only the chocolate ones for the latter. One needs to compensate for the overwhelming saltiness of the little buggers.

There. First post. It's all downhill from here.

(*) I never bothered submitting my first one. It would be too painful to allow the commissioning nepotists turn down the scene where the nuclear powered cows take our heroes hostage.

Welcome to the fight.

Likewise, and no offence taken, I like the cut of your gibber. Keep bashing.

Quote: Failed Comedy Writer @ March 14 2010, 4:24 PM GMT

Each letter that lands on my doorstep will only add to the fury I have at the punctilious dullards who like to keep the industry amongst the in-crowd.

View original

Unless you are successful and become part of that 'in crowd' no doubt!!

Oh dear. Look at this - second post and it's following the thread of my first. So unappealing to be obsessively paying attention. I should be off contributing to other threads, poring forth sympathy and encouragement to others in the same boat.

And spitting venom at BBC Three.

Or a psychological flaw where I have to go back and check if anyone's bothered to reply? It's like Twitter, but actually gratifying.

If I ever become one of the 'in crowd', you will hunt me down won't you? Bring scythes and burning torches. That said, if I ever do join the dark side I shall become a charitable altruist and sneak you lot in through the back door. I'll get your scripts read by my evil new friends, oh yes.

Unlike Barry Cryer, who once declined to read my script in case one day something similar appeared on telly or radio and I accused him of plagiarism. Like I'd win that one?

He's got lovely white hair.

And you can't see the join.

Oh knackers. Four posts on the same thread.

Right, I'm off to post something somewhere else in case I start believing my own ego.

Just three actually.

Quote: Failed Comedy Writer @ March 14 2010, 6:09 PM GMT

If I ever become one of the 'in crowd', you will hunt me down won't you? Bring scythes and burning torches.

View original

Hey, I hope to become one myself, and keep as many newbies out as possible, keep all the gravy for myself!!!

This is the fourth, Aaron. I was saving it.

I'm still here.

Quote: Failed Comedy Writer @ March 14 2010, 6:09 PM GMT

Unlike Barry Cryer, who once declined to read my script in case one day something similar appeared on telly or radio and I accused him of plagiarism.

View original

I do that.

I want a jafa cake!

Welcome!

Welcome. Lovely name.

Four posts in one thread is nothing. Come back when you've had a heated debate with Don Rushmore.

Shouldn't your name actually be Failing Comedy Writer? Hello, welcome, good luck.

Adam, I applaud your optimism. You can share my can of Special Brew when this next piece of work fails. We can sit outside Broadcasting House and swear at people as they walk through the door.

Righty ho - sitcom script finished, and if I say so myself it's good. Bloody good. If you can still laugh out loud at your own jokes, after having read them hundreds of times you're either very talented or a crackpot delusional egotist.

Go figure.

It's going to hurt when the commissioning morons pass over this one without even reading it. Still, Decca f**ked up with The Beatles and I'll be dining out over my similar experience for years to come no doubt.