British Comedy Guide

One Way Ticket

Blowing off some cobwebs here guys as I try to get back into my sketches. Feedback appreciated on this one.
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A COUPLE OF OAP'S (GEORGE & JUDITH) ARE COMING OUT OF A SHOP. A TRAFFIC WARDEN IS WRITING OUT A PARKING TICKET.

GEORGE:
Hey, come on lad, where's your compassion?

THE TRAFFIC WARDEN IGNORES GEORGE AS HE PUTS THE TICKET ON THE WINDSCREEN

GEORGE:
Ah, you're a rotter!

THE TRAFFIC WARDEN TURNS AND GLARES AT GEORGE THEN BEGINS WRITING OUT ANOTHER TICKET.

GEORGE:
What! Is one not enough? Are you getting a kick out of this?

THE TRAFFIC WARDEN FINISHES WRITING THE 2ND TICKET AND PUTS IT ON THE WINDSCREEN.

JUDITH:
He's an arsehole George. A bloody arsehole!

THE TRAFFIC WARDEN GLARES AT JUDITH BEFORE WRITING OUT ANOTHER TICKET.

GEORGE:
(To Judith - shaking his head)
You see love; cars are nothing but trouble.

PAN BACK TO REVEAL JUDITH & GEORGE STANDING AT A BUS STOP, THE BUS PULLS UP AND GEORGE AND JUDITH GET ON.

Very clever. I enjoyed. More than the other two recent posts, Dentist, I didn't quite get. :)

Yes made me chuckle! :)

Nice sketch, if a teensy bit predictable. One note though, if you're going to include camera directions (and you really shouldn't unless you're planning on shooting this yourself, in which do what you like), make sure you get them right. A 'pan' is a side-to-side motion - I think what you mean is a 'pull'.

I thought I was suffering from chronic deja vue, but seems not.

https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/13307#P420356

Ah, maybe that's why I saw the ending coming. Why was this posted twice? And without any changes?

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