How many gorilla's does it take to change a light bulb
One, but you need a f**k of a lot of light bulbs
Knock knock! Who's there? A jokes thread. Page 3
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
to stamp out fires
why do elephants have clubbed feet?
to stamp out burning ducks.
(this joke was voted as Belgiums favorite joke)
How many femenists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five, one to change it and the other four to give her support
What's the difference between the crust of a loaf and the lust of an oaf?
One's the end bit of a loaf of bread and the other's an idiot who likes sex - obviously.
How many Solicitors does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many can you afford?
How many Lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
What kind of an answer were you expecting
If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball in your right, what do you have?
The total and undivided attention of the Jolly Green Giant.
These are some from my stand up (and my myspace).
Topical Joke
What's black and white and red all over?
An Iraqi news stand
Philosophical Joke
Theres an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman or is there
Sexist Joke
What do you call a man without a sense of humour?
A woman
Alternative Sexist Joke
What do you call a woman without a sense of humour?
A woman
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I can’t stop passing gas. Luckily, my farts don’t smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted twice since I’ve been here in your office, but you didn’t even notice."
"I can help you," says the doc. "Take these pills and come back next week."
The next week, the lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don’t know what you gave me, but now my farts reek."
The doctor says, "Good, we fixed your sinuses! Now let’s work on your hearing."
Woman comes home from the doctors crying. Her husband asks whats the matter, she says that awful perverted doctor. He told me I had 'A Cute Vagina'
A plane is about to crash, a woman on board rips off her shirt and shouts 'i've never known what it feels like to be a woman!' A man rips off his shirts and throws it at her shouting 'Iron this!'
Why did the woman have two black eyes? Because society didn't listen the first time. (not really a joke but I thought I'd better stop making sexist jokes) 
Quote: ajp29 @ May 17, 2007, 4:23 PMI thought I'd better stop making sexist jokes
I quite agree.
Why do women have periods?
Why not.
My girlfriend wanted to come out tonight. Its a shame because she likes going out. I said to her 'come on, we'll paint the town red.' But I think shes painting herself red instead.
What is the difference between micheal jackson and a plastic bag?
one is white, plastic and dangerous to little kids....
A man burst in to the room and says "love i have won the lottery, so go and pack your bags" she replies "brilliant a holiday, ow what weather should i pack for?" "i don't care, just pack your bag and f*ck off".
Did you hear about the al qaeda party?
it was the bomb.
An Essex girl and a Scots girl were talking one day.
The Scots girl said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem
but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up.
The Essex girl asked inquisitively,
"How do you give shoulders?"
How do you get a one-armed Essex girl out of a tree?
Wave to her
Quote: Lewis Roberts @ May 17, 2007, 7:41 PMWhat is the difference between micheal jackson and a plastic bag?
one is white, plastic and dangerous to little kids....
How can you tell what clan a Scotsman is from?
If you stick your hand up his kilt and feel a quater pounder then he's a MacDonalds