British Comedy Guide

Knock knock! Who's there? A jokes thread. Page 2

Good afternoon, can I interest you in lagging?

A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.

"You know what?" says the 7 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing."

The 4 year old nods his head in approval. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?"

"Ok" the 4 year old, agrees with enthusiasm.

The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.

"Oh, sh *t mum, I guess I'll have some Coco Pops"

WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.

She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice," And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

"I don't know," he blubbers, "but it won't be f**king Coco Pops"

hahaha! WELL GOOD!

2 goldfish in a tank...one says to the other one "do you know how to drive this thing?"

2 sausages in a pan...one says to the other "it's hot in here" the other replies "f*ck me, a talking sausage!"

Two fat blokes sat at the bar one says
"your round" the other replies
"so are you, you fat git".

What's white and wears a duffle coat?
Paddington Fridge

Quote: Baumski @ May 9, 2007, 8:59 AM

What's white and wears a duffle coat?
Paddington Fridge

Laughing out loud

What do you do if you see a spaceman?

Park in it, man!

Babylon Zoo ruled.

What did the big chimney say to the little chimey?

Nothing, it's a chimney.

What's red and sits in a corner?

A baby chewing razor blades.

What's green and smells of pork?

Kermit's finger!

How do you shock a Priest?
Hit him in the balls with a cattle prod.

Laughing out loud paddington fridge, brilliant

What wobbles and rings?

A jellyphone

What did one baloon say to the other?

Were going up in the world!

Has anyone here tried a Tarka Masala Curry?

It's like Tikka Masala but a little otter.

What's green, got 6 legs, and found in trees?

A snooker table.

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