WOMAN IN CALL CENTRE ANSWERS PHONE.
WOMAN
Hello national bullying helpline, if they called you gay we'll make them pay. How can I help you?
MAN(STRONG GERMANIC ACCENT)
It is my boss he keeps making me do things I'm uncomfortable with.
WOMAN
What sort of things?
MAN
Well he's really homophobic. He wants me to stop gay people working for our company and he's a hypocrite...he....oh I feel so dirty.
WOMAN
Has he been sexually harrassing you?
MAN
Yes just the other week when I was taking mass in the cistine chapel for the assmebled multitudes.
WOMAN
Sorry who are you?
MAN
Is this in confidence?
WOMAN
Yes, probably, well unless the press offers us a really good bung.
MAN
I'm Pope Benedict.
WOMAN
And your boss is the Lord God Almighty?
MAN
He spread his countenance offer me. I thought I was blessed, but I was just naieve and innocent.
WOMAN
Well it's not the most stupid story we heard all week.
WOMAN2
Eer Cheryl it's that facking Gordon Brown on line 2 saying the electorate are bullying him again.
