A new one from myself and Bigfella. If you can be as half as helpful as you were last time that would still be very helpful indeed. 
EDIT: Scroll down for second version
EXT. A FIELD. DAY. CAR PARK AREA- WE PAN ALONG THE LINE SEEING CARS PARKED UP AND THEN WE PASS A HORSE IN BATTLE AMOUR, WE SIMPLY CARRY ON ALONG THE LINE OF PARKED CARS. PAN OUT AND THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE ARE MILLING ABOUT, MAINLY FAMILIES HAVING A NICE DAY OUT.
A MAN IN A SUIT OF ARMOUR ( KNIGHT ) APPROACHES A MAN IN A BUSINESS SUIT HOLDING A CLIP BOARD ( AGENT ). HE STOPS AND LIFTS UP THE VISOR. THEY SHAKE HANDS.
AGENT:
Hello, hello. Have any trouble finding it?
KNIGHT:
No no. No it was fine...just..Is it always this busy?
AGENT:
God no. It's pretty quiet during the week? Now then. Shall we go in?
KNIGHT:
Yep. After you.
THEY BEGIN TO WALK TOGETHER.
CUT TO.
EXT. A FIELD. CASTLE RUINS.
AGENT:
As I said. It is a bit of a fixer upper.
KNIGHT:
I can see that, yes. I know I said I wanted a project but...
AGENT:
Yes it's a lovely project to get your teeth into. All the wooden fixtures, including the roofs, need replacing. And some of the walls are...
KNIGHT:
Absent.
AGENT:
It certainly does have a lovely openness to it.
KNIGHT:
Hmm thing is I will be bringing my ghost with me and he'll need some actual walls. You know? To..er..go through, so to speak.
AGENT:
Well the Eastern walls still have a couple of foot left in them. Can't he crouch?
KINGHT:
Humph. No Drawbridge I see. Or portcullis? It did say furnished on the website.
AGENT:
Well it was when the last tenant left. But it has been unoccupied for quite some time now.
KNIGHT:
Hmm. Well I'd be looking for a drop in the asking price. At least thirty five percent.
AGENT:
I can't go that low without going further up for approval. But I'm prepared to give you fifteen. Right here right now.
KNIGHT:
Look. The Bailey's ok but the rest is a big job. The Great hall went years ago and that Keep's gonna have to come down. And then I'm looking at...what?...At least thirty thousand to put it all back in, Plus new the walls. I'd say thirty percent is more than a fair call, Come on.
AGENT:
I can't go that low without Head Office's say so. So...How about, I show you this other one in the next kingdom? A nice cosy little Motte and Bailey. Few features need looking at, but solid foundations.
KNIGHT:
So it's a hill. Come on, don't mess me about. Thirty percent at least.
AGENT:
Look trust me. This new place in the north is really worth seeing before you make a decision.
A MEDIEVAL MESSENGER RUNS UP TO THEM AND KNEELS ON ONE LEG BEFORE THE KNIGHT:
MESSENGER:
My Lord. I bring grave news from the North.
KNIGHT:
Speak.
MESSENGER:
It seems that the moat is dry, the windows have Twix wrappers stuck in them. And judging by some of the graffitti on what's left of the outer wall. There's dogging every Wednesday night in the old throne room.
THE KNIGHT WHIPS OUT HIS SWORD AND HOLDS IT TO THE ESTATE AGENT'S THROAT.
KNIGHT:
What are you trying to pull? Thirty percent off this one and I sir, shall consider this a mere disagreement.
AGENT:
( Choking with fear) Twenty percent?
THE KNIGHT GRABS HIM ROUND THE BACK OF THE NECK.
AGENT:
Twenty five, final offer. Look at the size of the garden sir.
THE KNIGHT RELAXES AND RE SHEATHES HIS SWORD.
KNIGHT:
Very well then. Twenty five percent. But only because of the garden.
AGENT :
Excellent. You'll be very happy here. Shall we get the paperwork drawn up?
KNIGHT:
Not before I have my survey done.
TWO BEARDED MEN (MAN 1 & MAN 2) ARRIVE WEARING SRUFFY BUT BRIGHTLY COLOURED KNITTED JUMPERS, SLACKS AND DIRTY BOOTS.
MAN 2:
I have brought the results from Geo-Phis and this charming broche we found near the old stone keep.
MAN 1 KNEELS DOWN AND STARTS BRUSHING AWAY THE EARTH AROUND SOME STONE VERY GENTLY.
MAN 1:
I think this used to be a castle you know.
END.
