British Comedy Guide

News

(BBC NEWS INTRODUCTION MUSIC)

Presenter: Hello and welcome to the news at 10. Tonight's headlines: Brown faces heavy allegations from charity worker -

(Cuts to scene of woman in an office)

Woman: "It has been known for a long time that he had a temper"

Presenter 2: And we've got even more Brown faces - Dave Scott speaks to one of the victims of Chernobyl 1986.

(Cuts to scene of Dave Scott interviewing a silhouetted man)

Dave: "So then the whole thing just went off like that?"

Presenter: And we speak to some of the British public to find out what they think of the recent Brown allegations.

(BBC NEWS MUSIC PLAYS ONCE MORE, CAMERA PANS ROUND THEN BACK TO THE PRESENTER.)

Presenter: Good evening. For a few days now, Gordon Brown has been under much pressure after accusations from within parliament itself, claiming that he is a bully. Gordon Brown spoke publicly today -

(Cuts to a scene of Gordon Brown surrounded by journalists.)

"Yes, admittedly I do get angry. And yes, admittedly I do swear and have my moments of frustration where I have been known to throw things. But never have I been seen to hit any of my colleagues, or sexually assault them for that matter."

Reporter: I'm sorry we said... nothing about sexual assault? Or hitting anyone.

Gordon: Well it didn't happen.

Reporter: I didn't say it did, but I don't see why you mentioned -

Gordon: She wanted it anyway.

Reporter: I beg your pardon?

(Cuts early to the studio)

Presenter: I'm sorry we seem to have lost him there.

Presenter 2: That was pre-recorded?

Presenter: (coughs loudly) We now go straight to an interview taken place in Ukraine, where Dave Scott speaks to a Chernobyl victim. (to presenter 2) You have to admit it really is a great sign of courage, dignity and bravery...

Presenter 2: I know, he's always been known for his bravery though, old Davey. I wouldn't go near those zombies.

(Cuts to the interview)

Dave Scott: Im sat here today with a man who does not wish to be revealed, who was in the Chernobyl area at the time of the disaster. He in fact lived in a small village near the plant. He's been telling me how there was a lack of safety measurements prior to the disaster.

Theo: Yes, there definitely was no Health and Safety regulations being followed. My manager used to light his smoke from the main chamber's lava flow.

(The silhouetted man now turns his head slightly so that he faces forwards, revealing an odd shaped lump protruding from his head)

Dave: (taken a-back) Ah!

Theo: What?

Dave: (calming himself) Well, that's just hideous. Absolutely disgusting.. behaviour within the plant itself. And things got terribly ugly because of it.

Theo: Excuse me? Oh you mean the plant. Yes, there was rubble everywhere and houses destroyed. Did you mean that?

Dave: No. No I didnt.

(Cuts back to the studio)

lump

You are a hardcore Bump Bandit.

Quote: Juan of a Kind @ February 22 2010, 3:07 PM GMT

lump

You should get that seen to - looks nasty.

Im a bump pirate

A bump within 50mins!!! COME ON!

Pirate

and to be honest, that sketch is a little poor, no real structure to it IMHO

Struggling to find the funny

Quote: Juan of a Kind @ February 22 2010, 3:07 PM GMT

lump

This is quite progressive

Juan,

Be carefull with the bumping, you've bumped every thread you've posted so far.

And I'm sure there was some written rule awhile back about not "bumping" untill 48hours has passed......

Was there, oh sorry.

Share this page