An old idea and the kind of thing I expect someone more well-informed than me will have seen or done before.
EXT. RACE TRACK - DAY
JEREMY CLARKSON WALKS ALONG THE EDGE.
'JEREMY CLARKSON'
Just imagine a world where everyone can drive whatever car they want without being taxed to the hilt. Well, we don't live in that world. So we've found the best priced and most powerful cars that would only leave a Kylie Minogue-sized carbon footprint. First up we have a car that offers affordability and a number of attractive features for the ethical car buyer. With a streamlined body and tyres that can't be punctured the designers were clearly thinking of their market.
FADE TO:EXT. RACE TRACK -DAY
JC SQUEEZED IN TO A 'LITTLE TIKES COZY COUPE'; HE PUSHES HIMSELF AROUND THE TRACK WITH HIS FEET VISIBLE UNDER THE CAR.
JC
(v/o)
For a good number of years now, car manufacturers have been fighting one another to come up with the most environmentally friendly car...and all that time, it was right under their noses.
CUT TO: INT. CAR - DAY
JC TALKS TO A SMALL CAMERA IN THE DASHBOARD
JC
Retailing at £49 from most Argos dealerships this car is an absolute steal, with responsive steering and no engine to weigh the car down, the 'Cozy Coupe' really does offer one of the smoothest drives around. And as there's no engine the only refilling you'll need to do is at the Little Chef.
CUT TO:INT. TOP GEAR STUDIO - EVENING
JC
Amazing car that, completely solved the...
JAMES MAY
(INTERJECTING) No, wait, you can't get away with it that easily Jeremy; roll the rest of the tape.
CUT TO: EXT. RACE TRACK - DAY
JEREMY IN THE 'COZY COUPE', SHOT FROM AFAR, IS SHUFFLING HIS FEET ALONG THE TRACK. HE TRIES TO TAKE THE CORNER AND OVERTURNS THE CAR. HIS FEET ARE POKING TOWARDS THE SKY.
CUT TO: INT. STUDIO - EVENING
JC
Look, it had been raining that day and I only overturned once.
JAMES MAY
Yes, but you only turned one corner, after that you had to go to A and E, didn't you Jeremy?
CAMERA PANS BACK TO REVEAL JC's FEET IN PLASTER CASTS.
JC
Aaanyway, moving swiftly on, next up Richard Hammond will be re-enacting his crash on the new Toys 'R' Us Black Wolf tricycle. He'll be seeing if environmentally friendly can actually mean less dangerous.
END OF SKETCH
