British Comedy Guide

NJ: Newsbullet Review

Here was my take on the 'Newsbullet in a different direction'.

Dan

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Newsbullet Review
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MILES:
Despite them not being able to pull their trousers up, the youth still need their snippets of culture. Newsjack's youth culture show is Newsbullet Review...

F/X:NEWSBULLET MUSIC BUT WITH A CLASSICAL, POMPOUS TWIST. A BIT SLOWER, ON A HARPSICHORD.

TAG:
Newsbullet Review - because culture doesn't need many syllables!
Newsbullet Review - high-brow content for low-brow eyebrows!

NEWSREADER 1:
There's a new song out for Haiti. What do people think?

YOUTH 1:
It's bin out before. They could've at least written a *new* song. REM must be properly narked.

YOUTH 2:
Rereleasing song? For the victims of earthquake? Who saw that coming?

NEWSREADER 1:
That's hai-ku not Haiti...

YOUTH 2:
Then I obfously know my culture, even if I don't knows... pacifics!

NEWSREADER 1:
It's the Atlantic.

YOUTH 2:
I swear I will knife you!

TAG:
Newsbullet Review - culture without the commas!
Newsbullet Review - 2 terabytes of downloaded vacuousness!

NEWSREADER 2:
Books - have the youth ever read any?

YOUTH 1:
Nah - it's, like, too'ard to, you know, unnerstan' n' all.

YOUTH 2:
Ah, yeah, course I know books! Done loadsa them. (BEAT) They is like a kinda hat, yeah?

TAG:
Newsbullet Review - current affairs with real currants!
Newsbullet Review - culture without the drugs!

END

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