Another doubtless well-deserved failure:
GENERAL: Right listen up chaps, the political johnnies are out to cut the defence Budget; and the beancounters reckon the big savings are to be had by ending inter-service rivalry...
ADMIRAL: No such thing!
AIR MARSHAL: We all rub along splendidly.
GENERAL: ...and merging the Army with the Navy and Air Force.
ADMIRAL: But the fly boys are absolute bounders. No offence old chap.
AIR MARSHAL: None taken. It's not as if we can boast the senior service's glorious traditions, such as facial hair and sodomy.
GENERAL: Simmer down chaps. We need to pool our reserves. As a first step HMS Ark Royal will be redeployed to Helmand Province.
ADMIRAL: Eh? Isn't Afghanistan landlocked?
GENERAL: Which is why we will be fitting her with wheels. And those Chinook Mark Threes with the dodgy computers, will now be assigned to the tank corps. Who propose cladding them with six inch armour plating.
AIR MARSHAL: But dammit, we won't be able to get the crates off the ground.
GENERAL: So no change there then.
ADMIRAL: And just how will this effect the Army?
GENERAL: Steps have already been taken to merge the household cavalry with the submarine corps. Horses have proved useless at depths of more than ten fathoms, but they think they've cracked the problem down at Porpoise Guards Parade.
ADMIRAL: This is preposterous.
GENERAL: I am afraid we have to deliver on this one chaps, because if we don't the alternative is that our armed forces are to be combined with those of (GULP) the French.
ADMIRAL: Eh gads. I feel ill.
AIR MARSHAL: Not the surrender monkeys?
GENERAL: Nail. Hit. Head. Just think how much that rotter Ainsworth can cut from the defence budget if all we are equipped with is white flags!
END