NJ: MP Relocation, Relocation

MP RELOCATION, RELOCATION

MILES JUPP: With four MPs now facing charges of false accounting, it appears they took the old parliamentary saying 'there's no such thing as a free lunch...unless you're an MP' a little too far, If found guilty they might need to start looking for somewhere else to stay.

GRAMS:
RELOCATION, RELOCATION THEME TUNE/SIMILAR.

KIRSTIE ALLSOPP:This week, we're with four MPs who are looking for low cost, bijou apartments.

PHIL SPENCER:They'll be moving lock, stock and barrel to one of three properties we've located. Hi guys.

FX:
COLLECTIVE MURMURS.

PHIL:Over here we have property number one.

KIRSTIE:Although this property has had 23 previous inmate...owners it has managed to retain a lot of its original features.

PHIL:Which include lattice effect window bars and hard floors.

KIRSTIE:The property comes with its own toilet and sink and has a somewhat rugged charm. What do you think guys?

FX:
COLLECTIVE WEEPING.

KIRSTIE:I know that first impressions are important but with a little bit of decorating, take the nude posters down, or put more up depending on your tastes, I'm sure it could feel like home.

FX:
COLLECTIVE WEEPING

PHIL:Well, number one wasn't a success but our second property might be more to their tastes.

KIRSTIE:Property number two is a little smaller but you would have access to the communal courtyard, with basketball facilities and its own drink fountain.

PHIL:The one down side to this property is you would have to share with another tenant.

KIRSTIE:From the details we were given his name appears to be Jimmy 'Fists'.

PHIL:So what do you think?

FX:
COLLECTIVE WEEPING.

KIRSTIE:So far the MPs don't seem impressed but I think I've found somewhere that ticks all the boxes.

PHIL:This is property number 3. It comes with air conditioning, fully opening windows and its own Playstation 3 console.

KIRSTIE:All meals are provided with specials including steak au poivre and venison wellington.

PHIL:So what do you make of property three guys?

FX:
POSITIVE MURMURS/NOISES.

KIRSTIE:One thing we must mention before you make up your minds is the only washing facilities are the communal showers,

PHIL:...and a bell rings early every morning (BEAT) for the sex offenders register to be taken.

FX
COLLECTIVE WEEPING.

END OF SKETCH

..and it's all over.

I'm not entirely convinced by the pay off.
But I think it's a terrific idea, and there's some funny lines in there.

Thanks Steve. Yeah, the ending doesn't fit in with what's gone before really. I've rehashed it and sent it to Newsrevue, they probably won't be interested either.

Congrats to all those who got stuff on this series!

Although I would agree about the punch, this is good. The nude posters line I liked and the lattice effect window bars and hard floors, is nice too. You're definitely on an upwards curve with your topical stuff. Keep going.

Quote: scratchyr @ February 11 2010, 7:56 PM GMT

Although I would agree about the punch, this is good. The nude posters line I liked and the lattice effect window bars and hard floors, is nice too. You're definitely on an upwards curve with your topical stuff. Keep going.

View original

Thanks matey. I did quietly hope this might have got a whiff but the ending isn't great and from the sketches the kind folks who saw the show listed, it doesn't seem it's a story they covered.

Yeah, I liked it too. Fits Newsjack well and Lewis and Andi can probably do Phil/Kirstie well so nicely aimed.

As said, punchline needs to be something else and a better pay-off, but up to there pretty much top marks.

Dan