TONY AND BOB ARE STANDING IN A STREET TONY HAS A CARDBOARD BOX
TONY
Bob you really are a mate. I shag your missus and you not only forgive me, but you get me a job.
BOB
Muff before mates, muff before mates Tony.
TONY
And all I have to do is give out these free sweets? Sweet.
BOB
But don't forget your uniform mate.
TONY OPENS THE BOX AND PULLS OUT A YELLOW FLUORESENT JACKET AND A TRAY OF SWEETS. HE WALKS DOWN THE ROAD.
WE SEE THE SWEETS ARE "Raspberry Rohypnols, kids love 'em!" AND ON THE BACK OF THE JACKET IT READS "Convicted peedo call 999 if seen within 10 feet of a child"
TONY APPROACHES A SCHOOL THE "Richard Littlejohn inner city academy."
BOB
Oi mate don't forget your hat!
TONY
Thanks mate you really are a BFFE
TONY PULLS ON A BRIGHT BASEBALL CAP WITH A FLASHING LIGHT ON TOP IT HAS "Hello I am a Kosovan where is the nearest DSS office?" ON IT.