British Comedy Guide

Reg's cure A Little story

His f**king piles had been paining him all morning rubbing on his underpants every-time he bent down, his arse was as sore as f**k, it had started juicing acid that was etching the skin of his arse. He was pleased it was dinnertime.

Reg retired to his car to have a smoke and a read of the paper while eating his Dinner. As Reg was reading the paper he was drawn to an article about this bloke who had a gangrenous leg, describing how he had stunned Doctors at the hospital by making a full recovery. They were going to have to chop this bloke leg off . Well, while the blokes waiting for the operation, his dog starts licking his foot, it licks and it licks up to four hours a day its licking. Well with all this licking it excited the nerves and blood vessels in his toes like,and this spreads up his leg and it gets better and these Doctors can't believe it, it's cured this blokes leg. Well this gets Reg to thinking as he goes back to work.

Reg finally finishes another day at work and goes home, there is a note on the side when he gets in.
Reg,
I've gone out, won't be back too late, your teas in the oven just turn it on to warm it up.
Sizzle
Sizzle was Regs pet name for his wife, he'd called her it since the first time they had played their sexy games with the bacon fat and it had stuck with him. He smiled to himself at the thought of getting Sizzle smothered in fat as he made his way to the fridge. He grabbed the milk bottle and took a huge gulp from it then spat it out all over the floor, the f**ker was off. He went to the sink and washed his mouth out under the tap. As he stood at the sink he looked out the window and noticed next doors Alsatian and remembered the article he had been reading and thought to himself "i wonder".

Reg went to the backdoor he grabbed some Bacon from the fridge on his way and beaconed next-doors dog over the fence. "Here boy, coo-me on, come on" the dog came over and Reg took it into the lounge he made a real fuss of the dog and got it too like him, he let it lick his hands to get a good taste of the Bacon. Reg went into the kitchen and got some more Bacon from the fridge, he then cut it into thin slithers, the length of the rasher and placed them in to a small Tupperware box and went back into the lounge with the dog following him. He told the dog to sit and went over and drew the curtains and then went to the sideboard and turned on the radio, the auditorium show was on. Reg liked to relax after a days work listening to the radio especially the Auditorium show as it always had new talent on.

Reg dropped his trousers and pants the cool fresh air on his piles felt lovely as it blew in between them. Reg leaned over the edge of the settee, the dog was still sitting to attention looking puzzled at Reg. Reg opened the Tupperware box and delicately slid all the slithers of the Bacon up his arse then put his hand out towards the dog and let it sniff and lick his fingers. Then Reg Positioned his arse in front of the dog, he plumped up the cushions and waited. The dog sniffed the air around Regs arse-hole, its whiskers tickled Regs arse he could feel the dogs warm breath panting on his ring piece then the dogs tongue started to do its job it licked and flicked the slithers of Bacon,jiggling Regs piles the licking and the lubrication of the dogs saliva started stimulated Regs painful Piles. Reg relaxed to the stimulation it felt good to have his arse licked especially after the day he'd had. Reg wondered if he could get Sizzle to do this on one of the bizarre sexual evenings they enjoyed. As Reg fantasised about him and Sizzle Reg fell a sleep dreaming of him and Sizzle.

Reg was waken by a shriek from Sizzle, who had arrived home earlier than expected "What are you doing with that dog?" Reg jumped up "Its err,err, umm,its purely medicinal". The dog ran out of the house due to Sizzles screaming, as Reg tried to hide his errection behind a cushion. Reg tried to explained to Sizzle about the article in the paper and that he was carrying out medical research in their living room with next doors dog into the effects of dogs saliva and stimulated licking on piles.

Sizzle wasn't having any of it, she grabbed his trousers and pants pushed them at him and chased him to the door screaming at him.

The door slammed shut behind Reg. Suddenly Reg was alone on the doorstep naked. He quickly put on his clothes at least he had his wallet and car keys more than the last time he had been thrown out. Reg decided to give his mate reg a call, reg had been working in Germany earning a fortune now for a few months. He had been trying to persuade Reg to go out there with him but up until this moment in time Reg was with happy with Sizzle, but now, he was free and single. Reg was going to take reg up on his offer. He was off to Germany. They planned to meet at the Oscar wild pub in Berlin.

It was time for another adventure.

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