British Comedy Guide

Write a funny advert. Page 4

Daisy:
I just love it here at MELLOW WATERS. When my husbands altzima suddenly took a turn for the worse. MELLOW WATERS were there right away with their caring support team. In just one week I was enjoying my life again.

DOTTY:
I just love it here at MELLOW WATERS. When the nasty man from the estate agents placed my detached house on the dangerous list. MELLOW WATERS were right behind me with their team supportive carers. In just five days I was watching "MURDER SHE WROTE" surrounded by all my new friends.

ETHEL:
I just love it here at MELLOW WATERS. When I broke my ankle in the high street and couldnt walk up the stairs anymore. MELLOW WATERS were there right away with their team of lovely supporters. In just six days I was playing prize bingo without a care in the world.

JEAN:
I just love it here at MELLOW WATERS. When I nwas being terrorised every night and the police couldnt find the culprit. MELLOW WATERS were there right away with theri team of supportive carers. In just two days I was knitting the wardens granddaughter a new scarf and I couldnt even knit before.

CHAZ PARKER:
Aint they just adorable and thanks to MELLOW WATERS they can keep on being adorable without a care in the world. With our wonderful thoughtful staff and our delightful mansion tucked away deep inside the Scottish countryside, MELLOW WATERS offers a retreat every pensioner would dream to be a part of. MELLOW WATERS representatives coming to a quiant sea-side village near you soon.

VO:
So why not sign the MELLOW WATERS register now and remember every single detail helps in your quest for a full life of wonderful surprises.

VO:
For more information write to PO BOX 12 Costa Brava Spain.

WANTED: Dictator - looking for someone in there mid 40's to control the warring middle east, pay mostly on pillaging and robbery with a basic 10k per annum, hoping to hear from you soon hugs and kisses!!!

PS - moustache helps but not necessary.

PSS - approximately 3 secret murders a year.

SEXY WOMAN VOICE OVER WITH SHOTS OF SEXY WOMEN STRIPPING SUDUCTIVLY.

w.v.o: Do you want to have the hottest chat around with a horny teenager?, do you want to chat with a busty blonde girl while she plays with herself?, do you want a garentee that you will cum in under 30 seconds then call thi number 07888 285 480 today.

I.T.V announcer: Stay with us as next we have C.I.T.V.

Share this page