NJ: Advertising Executive

Another week, another failure...

MILES:In financial news, the recession has prompted several large companies to slash this year's advertising budget. The BBC of course doesn't carry advertising although they have slashed their 'being fined for accidental product-placement' budget. We all love adverts but hate anyone who works in advertising, so is less advertising necessarily a bad thing for a company or perhaps it's a good thing for society? With us today is advertising executive Gerald Stanhope.

GERALD:Whasssuuuuppp!

MILES:Indeed. Gerald, which Advertising Agency do you work for?

GERALDchh…you know who. I liked their products so much, I bought the company. It was reassuringly expensive.

MILES:Ummm…I notice you have a tendency to speak in advertising slogans.

GERALDChurchill dog voice) Oh yes. (Normal) They're grrrrrreat!

MILESlease stop. You're supposed to be here discussing the impact of slashed advertising budgets, not getting free air-time for all your annoying slogans.

GERALD:Well it's true that there will likely be cheaper or recycled adverts for the next few years – but as far as brand awareness goes, every little helps.

MILES:This is supposed to be a serious interview. You can't keep this up - how many advertising slogans have you got?

GERALD:57 varieties.

MILESSIGH) Can we please just have a sensible interview?

GERALDorry, you're right. This is a serious subject and discussing it seriously is a finger lickin' good idea.

MILES:Right, two can play at that game. So, re-using old adverts – is it really the best a man can get? Or is it just a cynical ploy to save money during a soft, strong and very, very long recession?

GERALD:What? You can't do that, I'm the advertising executive; I do exactly what it says on the tin. We can't both be speaking in advertising slogans.

MILESh come on, what's the worst that could happen?

GERALDtop it! (BEAT) Look, no need to make a drama out of a crisis. How about we both stop using advertising slogans? Agreed?

MILES:Agreed. That's all I wanted.

GERALDK, OK…sorry, force of habit. You wanted to know about advertising budgets?

MILES:Yes. So companies are likely to advertise less or use much cheaper advertising. Do you think that will impact your advertising agency?

GERALDBEAT) The man from Del Monte, he say yes.

MILES:Fine, Have It Your Way. You're clearly a Fruit & Nutcase – I don't give a XXXX for your opinion anyway.

GERALDtop mocking my use of advertising slogans! I came here in good faith…why are you treating me like this?

MILES:Because you're worth it.

GERALD:You're really enjoying making fun of me like this, aren't you?

MILESoo-doo-do-do-doo, I'm Loving It.

GERALD:Right, that's it. I'm not staying here to be treated like this.

MILES:You can't just storm off in the middle of an interview! Where are you going?

GERALD:I'm going to do a poo at Paul's.

F/Xound of mic being taken off and dropped on desk. Footsteps leaving.

MILES:Bang! And the Ad man's gone. Simples!

I really liked this. But I would have shortened the end maybe:

Quote: Afinkawan @ February 5 2010, 9:23 AM GMT

Another week, another failure...

MILES:In financial news, the recession has prompted several large companies to slash this year's advertising budget. The BBC of course doesn't carry advertising although they have slashed their 'being fined for accidental product-placement' budget. We all love adverts but hate anyone who works in advertising, so is less advertising necessarily a bad thing for a company or perhaps it's a good thing for society? With us today is advertising executive Gerald Stanhope.

GERALD:Whasssuuuuppp!

MILES:Indeed. Gerald, which Advertising Agency do you work for?

GERALDchh…you know who. I liked their products so much, I bought the company. It was reassuringly expensive.

MILES:Ummm…I notice you have a tendency to speak in advertising slogans.

GERALDChurchill dog voice) Oh yes. (Normal) They're grrrrrreat!

MILESlease stop. You're supposed to be here discussing the impact of slashed advertising budgets, not getting free air-time for all your annoying slogans.

GERALD:Well it's true that there will likely be cheaper or recycled adverts for the next few years – but as far as brand awareness goes, every little helps.

MILES:This is supposed to be a serious interview. You can't keep this up - how many advertising slogans have you got?

GERALD:57 varieties.

MILESSIGH) Can we please just have a sensible interview?

GERALDorry, you're right. This is a serious subject and discussing it seriously is a finger lickin' good idea.

MILES:Right, two can play at that game. So, re-using old adverts – is it really the best a man can get? Or is it just a cynical ploy to save money during a soft, strong and very, very long recession?

GERALD:What? You can't do that, I'm the advertising executive; I do exactly what it says on the tin. We can't both be speaking in advertising slogans.

MILESh come on, what's the worst that could happen?

GERALDtop it! (BEAT) Look, no need to make a drama out of a crisis. How about we both stop using advertising slogans? Agreed?

MILES:Agreed. That's all I wanted.

GERALDK, OK…sorry, force of habit. You wanted to know about advertising budgets?

MILES:Yes. So companies are likely to advertise less or use much cheaper advertising. Do you think that will impact your advertising agency?

GERALDBEAT) The man from Del Monte, he say yes.

MILES:Fine, Have It Your Way.

SFX: Gunshot

MILES:Bang! And the Ad man's gone. Simples!

View original

I like this.

Quote: Kasm @ February 5 2010, 9:49 AM GMT

I really liked this. But I would have shortened the end maybe:

View original

I see your point but I would have hated to lose the "I'm going to do a poo at Paul's" line!

Good call - that is probably the most ridiculous line that has ever been uttered in an advert. (Waits, in trepidation, for 2 trillion equally cringe-worthy phrases to be scraped up and deposited on this thread.)

I liked this one. Great idea and very cleverly done.

I'm wondering if you've got too much of a good thing though; it did feel a bit long (though I know NJ do tend to milk the odd sketch!) and it can get a bit confusing with Miles joining in, then stopping, then joining in again.

I did like the ending though! Especially given how much Dan T hates the 'Simples' catchphrase (cf. Richard Herring's As It Occurs To Me podcast)

Dan

I found this depressing. Mainly because it might make one of my sketch ideas for next week look like plagiarism. Hey, I'll send it anyway.

It's very good, but I agree with Dan - it feels too long, and I reckon you could lose a third. But whatever you do, don't lose the poo at Paul's - that's the best bit!

I thought that this was very good too. No really bad lines in it at all, but as has been mentioned it 'reads' a bit long.

Maybe a snappy quick-fire delivery may take care of that, or else just cut a few of the lines in the middle. I don't think it would lessen the impact and execution of what's a darn good piece.

I like this. I've seen similar sketches but not with your retaliation angle. I agree with the previous comments. For me, you could make it even better by removing Miles explaining what's happening and announcing the nature of his retaliation - ie. just 'show' and give the audience the satisfaction of working it out, rather than 'tell and show' - but NJ skim a lot of scripts so you may have been playing it safe intentionally. Good job!

This is one of the rare sketches I re-read and made longer, to get a bit more structure in.

But you're probably all correct, given a less tight deadline I would probably have re-read it another few days later and then cut it back a bit to make it shorter while trying to keep the narrative structure if poss.

Yeah its pretty good Afinkawan. Like others said, a bit long.

The pauls line for me was the best, but I think you should add the word "house" or "bathroom", like in the advert: "I want to do a poo at pauls house". I don't remember now if the word was house or bathroom, or indeed something else...erppp. But that word was missing for me in your line.

This is almost a perfect sketch, Afink. If I'm honest I thought the fingerlickin' substitution was weak and you don't need 'varieties' after 57 - everyone will get that. I agree with everyone else that it's too long and the joke definitely wears thin before the end.

How about this:

MILES:Right, two can play at that game. So, re-using old adverts – is it really the best a man can get? Or is it just a cynical ploy to save money during a soft, strong and very, very long recession?

GERALD:What? You can't do that, I'm the advertising executive; I do exactly what it says on the tin. We can't both be speaking in advertising slogans.

MILESh come on, what's the worst that could happen?

GERALDtop it!

M - Look, no need to make a drama out of a crisis.

G - Right, I'm off to do a poo...

I don't recognise the poo ref but everyone seems to like it so I'll bow to the massive.

Hugely impressive.

Cheers all. I'll rewrite in time for series 5 of RFTP!

that's just what I was gonna suggest. Use it in RFTP.

It's a good idea for a sketch, and is very well written.
it could definitely be tweaked to suit any number of shows.