NJ: Bob Ainsworth Mastermind

Rejected!

Dan

==========================
Bob Ainsworth Mastermind
==========================
F/X:APPLAUSE

HUMPHRYS:
Can we have our next contestant please..?

F/X:APPLAUSE

HUMPHRYS:
Your name please?

BOB:
Bob Ainsworth.

HUMPHRYS:
Occupation?

BOB:
Secretary of Defence.

HUMPHRYS:
And your chosen specialised subject?

BOB:
"Giving Away Answers I've Been Told Not To Tell Anybody By The Cabinet".

HUMPHRYS:
Bob Ainsworth, one minute on "Giving Away Answers You've Been Told Not To Tell Anybody By The Cabinet" starting now. What is the date of the General Election?

BOB:
May the 6th.

HUMPHRYS:
Correct. Will the Met Office have their weather reporting contract renewed by the BBC?

BOB:
No.

HUMPHRYS:
Correct. Why not?

BOB:
Because they're crap.

HUMPHRYS:
Correct. When will the Himalayan glaciers melt?

BOB:
They won't. Climate Change is made-up bunkum.

HUMPHRYS:
Correct. Who will take over from Jonathan Ross as host of Friday Night, Film 2010 and his Radio 2 Saturday morning show?

BOB:
David Hasselhoff.

HUMPHRYS:
Correct. Is there—

F/X:BEEP BEEP BEEP

HUMPHRYS:
I've started, so I'll finish. (SLOWLY) Is there a God?

BOB:
(BEAT) Erm. It very much depends on the faith of the question-setter?

HUMPHRYS:
Correct. At the end of that round, Secretary of Defence, you have six points with no passes.

F/X:APPLAUSE

BOB:
Oh, I really shouldn't have bothered.

HUMPHRYS:
It's not that bad.

BOB:
No, not that. It's just that I finish second. (REALISES) Oh damn…

END

Loved the 'Is there a God' question/answer. Nice little sketch that.

Very good.

Didn't they go with something very similar in the end? I'm sure I've heard an Ainsworth/May 6th/Mastermind sketch somewhere recently.

Yes - it was on last week's 'Newsjack'. His specialist subject was 'Questions to which the answer is May 6th'

Hmm. Haven't listened yet to last week's. Do you think this is my 'something recorded' thingy, that 'didn't get in'?

Dan

If it was, they edited every single line of it.

That didn't stop them giving me a vox-pop credit last week!

Dan

There's a good chance they liked the idea of him on Mastermind, but not the rest of it. They'd still give you a credit, so it probably was the thingy.

Guess I should have an 'inspired by' credit then, if nothing else!

Dan

Well, if you didn't get a credit it's just a coincidence. They're usually pretty hot at this sort of thing. Still, they occasionally make mistakes. Give them a quick email to enquire, if you're not sure.

Yeah, will do R.J. Cheers!

Dan

Yeah, everyone's right here -- this was the one used albeit rewritten. You get a line credit if your idea is rewritten. Admin error why I wasn't credited. It's been updated now.

Cheers for help all.

Dan

Very nice idea, but it felt a little flat to me, like it never really took off. Saying that I prefer it to Newsjack's edit, if I'm honest.
I must say though Dan you've consistently come up with some really good ideas and tailored your stuff accurately to Newsjack, I hope something comes of it all for you.

Cheers Adam

If I'm honest, I preferred my other two sketches this week

I personally felt their edit was better than this and I agree about it not really taking off here. They seemed to have trouble ending it too!

Cheers for reading

Dan