TONY IS QUEUING AT THE AIRPORT WITH JIM AND HIS WIFE MAUREEN
MAUREEN
These bloody security checks.
JIM
Shh darling they have to keep us safe from those Arabs.
TONY
Wouldn't it be ironic if we got hijacked by; white, Christian lesbians!
SCENE2
TONY AND JIM ARE SITTING TIED UP ON THE FLOOR MAUREEN IS STANDING BLINDFOLDED INFRONT OF A FIRING SQUAD OF; WHITE WOMEN, THEY ARE WEARING CROSSES AND MAYWELL BE LESBIANS.
SCENE3
IT IS THE FUNERAL FOR MAUREEN, TONY IS GRINNING JIM IS BEREFT.
TONY
Sorry mate it's my fault she's dead. See I'm ironic I can't help it.
JIM
What do you mean? It was those white, lesbian, Christians what done her in
TONY
Nah it was me see I'm ironic always have been
JIM
You bastard I loved her.
JIM PUNCHES TONY TO THE GROUND AND PROCCEDES TO GIVE HIM A THOROUGH KICKING
TONY
Oooyah ouch you're beating me to death! Wouldn't it be ironic if I was the one who goes to prison for murder.
JIM GRABS HIS CHEST
JIM
Euurrrggghhh! My heart you've angered me to the point of death, that's murder!
JIM DROPS DEAD
POLICEMAN
It is too.
SCENE3
TONY IS BEING WALKED TO HIS EXECUTION BY A GUARD.
THEY REACH THE EXECUTION CHAMBER THE GRUMPY EXECUTIONER AND HIS CHEERFUL AID HAVE HUNG THEMSELVES.
THE GRUMPY EXECUTIONER HAS A SIGN ROUND HIS NECK READING
"I hated him so very much."
HIS CHEERFUL AID HAS A SIGN READING
"BFFE"
TONY
How ironic looks like I'm free.
SCENE4
TONY SKIPS OUTSIDE OF THE PRISON TED HUGHE'S IRON MAN STOMPS ON TONY SQUASHING HIM
IRON MAN
Ick!
SOOTYJ STANDS NEAR BY AND POINTS TO A HUGE SIGN HANGING FROM A CRANE
SOOTYJ
Wasn't that ironic!
THE GIANT SIGN READS
"This sketch is moronic."
SOOTYJ
Damn my damndable signage business.
THE SIGN DROPS ON SOOTYJ SQUASHING HIM
WE SEE ALANIS MORISETTE IS IN THE CRANES CRAB, SHE MAKES A WANKER HAND GESTURE.
I liked this a lot. Great pace and silliness.