EXT. DAY. HOUSE.
A POLICEMAN RINGS A DOORBELL AND HOMEOWNER OPENS DOOR.
COP: Sergeant Adams sir, you reported the theft of your vehicle?
MAN: Yes, I noticed this morning.
COP: Can you give me a description of the vehicle sir?
MAN: Sure, it's long, brown and wooden.
COP: A wooden car? That's unusual.
MAN: Oh, no, no. I'm sorry I should have been clearer. It's my barge that's been nicked.
COP: From your driveway sir?
MAN: No, it was moored down by the canal.
COP: I'll contact the canal police sir, that's their jurisdiction.
CUT TO CANAL SCENE. A COP IS STANDING ON A WHITE BARGE WHICH HAS POLICE LIVERY ON SIDE AND SIREN.
FX POLICE WALKIE TALKIE.
CANAL COP: PC McIvor, Canal Branch.
SARGE ADAMS: A barge has been nicked McIvor.
CANAL COP: Was it long, brown and wooden Sarge?
SARGE ADAMS: It was, as it happens.
CANAL COP: We've just located it.
SARGE ADAMS: Any sign of the villain?
CANAL COP: Yep, he's been arrested. He's a monk Sarge, a drunk monk. We apprehended him as he was getting onto his getaway vehicle.
SARGE ADAMS: A bicycle?
CANAL COP: No, a spacehopper Sarge but we immobilised it with a stinger device in the ensuing slow speed chase.
SARGE ADAMS: What offences has he been collared with McIvor?
CANAL COP: Drunk in charge of a barge Sarge, and also unmooring and driving away without the owner's consent.
SARGE ADAMS: Ok, take his details, I'll be down shortly.
CANAL COP: Slight problem there Sarge, he gave us a card. I'll read it to you... 'I'm on a vow of silence at the moment and can't disclose any details regarding the theft of a barge.'
SARGE ADAMS: Well, he's the right to remain silent.
