A Haiti sketch don't hate me. Page 3

Soots,

I don't think it's too early to do jokes about the quake; and even by your own admission this isn't particularly about Haiti.

I just think the sketch is too busy. You've got The Red Cross, Angelina Jolie, Barack Obama, Michael Jackson, Martin Luther King, Gary Coleman and Gordon Brown thrown in with the earthquake victims. It's too much.

Boil it down to the basics, and you may have something decent. But you might also just be left with a pun about AIDS. And now Angelina and Brad have filed for divorce it might not be as topical. Maybe she ordered them but has to send them back because of the divorce?

As I said before I'm not keen on jokes about natural catastrophes where so many lives are lost, but I'm a bit weird like that.

I agree with Angie. Your best sketches (in fact most people's best sketches) have a clear central idea carried through. This one introduces so many different people - including Gordon Brown walking on for the sake of a punchline - that I think it's hard for the audience to get a foothold on the sketch. Put yourself in the audience's shoes, and work out if they know where you are coming from or not, but don't get them confused. With this one they might think "ah.. this is a Haiti sketch... ah... no it isn't, it's about Obama... no, it's about Jolie and celebrity. Hang on! It's about Brown. Oh." - people will buy into a lot of unreal ideas and love being wrong-footed but they won't enjoy being confused, because they lose interest in the sketch.

I wasn't offended by it being a "Haiti sketch" by the way, because the sketch clearly has different targets. But I thought there was an offensive bit, where you refer to Jordan's kid as ugly. That's the humour of the school bully, and I am not keen. You are better than that.

Quote: Badge @ January 24 2010, 11:50 PM GMT

You are better than that.

View original

No I'm not!

I think the middle bit confuses stuff so in the final NR bit I'll chop that out.
And probably just make it Jolie buying orphans.

Quote: sootyj @ January 24 2010, 11:55 PM GMT

No I'm not!

I think the middle bit confuses stuff so in the final NR bit I'll chop that out.
And probably just make it Jolie buying orphans.

View original

The Jolie theme is the strongest bit.

And you are.

Hmmm I could try and work it that I'm actually mocking Jordans prebirth drug abuse? Thus providing a helpful public service like those don't shag a teen you'll get chlamydia adverts.

Except surely making chavy teens sterile is a good thing. And anyway what happened to warning people about AIDS? Surely dying in a Tom Cruise film to a shitty Springsteen track is far worse?

Taking drugs may make you into a dead eyed slapper with a Gary Coleman sized infant. That campaign writes it's self.

Quote: bushbaby @ January 24 2010, 1:01 AM GMT

the sketch is very funny

View original

Not as funny as...

Quote: sootyj @ January 25 2010, 12:05 AM GMT

don't shag a teen you'll get chlamydia

View original

Quote: sootyj @ January 25 2010, 12:05 AM GMT

making chavy teens sterile is a good thing.

View original

Quote: sootyj @ January 25 2010, 12:05 AM GMT

Taking drugs may make you into a dead eyed slapper with a Gary Coleman sized infant.

View original

I saw the target of this as Jolie - maybe now with the latest news about her split from Brad Pitt you could re-work this.

However, I agree with Badge regarding the mention of Jordan's son. Not clever and not funny.

Also it doesn't make sense if you refer to Harvey as an 'orphan', which he isn't.

Quote: Griff @ January 25 2010, 12:58 PM GMT

What was funny though was the NewsRevue sketch where they leave Harvey unsupervised only to come back and find he's eaten all the other babies.

View original

Aw, some poor kid gets the piss-taken out of him because he has the misfortune to be born to Katie Price and suffers from medical conditions. That's just mean and nasty.

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ January 25 2010, 1:00 PM GMT

Also it doesn't make sense if you refer to Harvey as an 'orphan', which he isn't.

View original

Just wishes he was.

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ January 25 2010, 12:57 PM GMT

I saw the target of this as Jolie - maybe now with the latest news about her split from Brad Pitt you could re-work this.

However, I agree with Badge regarding the mention of Jordan's son. Not clever and not funny.

View original

I'm happy with stupid.

Quote: sootyj @ January 25 2010, 1:17 PM GMT

Just wishes he was.

View original

Quote: Morrace @ January 25 2010, 12:30 PM GMT

Not as funny as...

View original

Picking on me for being in poor taste?

You sir are Don Quixote in a windmill factory.

Quote: sootyj @ January 25 2010, 1:23 PM GMT

You sir are Don Quixote in a windmill factory.

View original

--- and you Sir are unique - boldly treading where others fear to go.

With respect Sootyj; when your 'poor taste' is refined, it's like a delectable wine - albeit 'The ASDA of satire' brand!

I would agree that there is just too much going on - Angelina Jolie Orphan Addict is the way to go I reckon, turning up at natural disasters like a weird superhero grabbing disadvantaged ethnic babies wherever she can.

The line about Jordan's son made me laugh but not because it is some witty satirical take on modern life, but because it was so cruel.

This is from a comic strip I made with an Irish artist. It's about two aliens investigating man. Watch when they meet Brangelina.

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=230105857&blogId=300589853

Quote: AngieBaby @ January 23 2010, 11:24 PM GMT

Jesus had a ten-inch cock?

View original