A Haiti sketch don't hate me.

edit2

A RED CROSS WORKER HAS A DUSTBIN BAG FULL OF HAITIAN BABIES AND IS TALKING TO ANGELINA JOLIE WHO IS WEARING A BARRACK OBAMAM MASK (OR MAYBE JUST THE EARS?)

RED CROSS
Here you are Mrs Jolie one bin liner full of Haitian earth quake orphans ready to be adopted. That'll be 50 quid.

ANGELINA
Lovely give him here.
ANGELINA GRABS BAG AND RUMMAGES THROUGH IT.

ANGELINA
Err this one's broken, this one's got a limb missing, this one smells funny. These are the most last season. orphans I've seen since Jordan tried putting Harvey on ebay.

RED CROSS
That's not very nice there's been an earthquake of course they're a little shop soiled.

RED CROSS
Right that's it I'm calling Madonna.. Piss off you trout lipped foreign baby addict.

ANGELINA
Oh please can't I have one baby please? Oh please ever since Brad left I need some cute and dribbling to hang off my chest.

RED CROSS
Where there is one big baby we found wandering the ruins. He's a bit ugly and he's got no friends and no future, but you can have him.

ANGELINA
Oh well beggars can't be choosers.

RED CROSS DRAGS ON GORDON BROWN

GORDON BROWN
For the last time I'm the primeminister of Great Britain. I'm on a state visit I've got an election to win.

ANGELINA
Cor lovely, I love the mental ones. Has he got AIDS?

RED CROSS
Nah they keep trying to overthrow him.

Soots,

The punch is ok, although AIDS jokes are always a bit controversial.

However, I think the rest is a bit busy, too many celebrities being referenced.

Personally I've always found it hard to enjoy jokes about natural disasters with such catastrophic results.

See what the others reckon, but for me, it's a no.

Sorry mate!

It's satire but not as we know it.

You evil bastard! Burn in hell! Etc.!

Here are a few excerpts from Sootyj's new charity DVD, 'Collapsed With Laughter'

POSTMAN:

Your Haitian orphan has arrived.

SOOTYJ:

Just slip it under the door.

SOOTYJ:

I say, I say, I say, I had a Haitian lodger, he's now my flat mate.

SOOTYJ:

I once did a comedy gig in Port-au-Prince, the house came down on me like a tonne of bricks - now whose laughing?

You really are a terrible man sootyj, hang your head in shame.

We cannot talk of jokes about natural disasters without remembering Mother Theresa when she said "I don't believe in jokes about natural disasters or that Jesus had a ten-inch cock, but I do believe in anal sex." Mother Terry was first introduced to cocks (and more to the point) jokes about natural disasters by none other than Pope John Paul II.

Jesus had a ten-inch cock?

Pass the communion wine, I feel the spirit coming through me!

It's in the New Testament - "the cock grew three times".

--- and it rose again on the third day.

I'm still waiting for the second cumming.

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ January 23 2010, 11:30 PM GMT

I'm still waiting for the second cumming.

View original

You mean Alan Cuming.

Homosexualist.
Oh well as ever Morrace beat me to the better punch.

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ January 23 2010, 11:30 PM GMT

I'm still waiting for the second cumming.

View original

Quote: AngieBaby @ January 23 2010, 11:24 PM GMT

Jesus had a ten-inch cock?

View original

Well Thomas had his doubts, & Peter denied it but yes it was apparently quite impressive.
It's all in the book anyway.

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ January 23 2010, 11:46 PM GMT

It's all in the book anyway.

View original

The New Testicle?

such witticisms it's amazing.
getting back to the thread topic, I do think Sootyj that it's too early and controversial to do jokes about Haiti but the sketch is very funny