British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 647

Quote: Matthew Stott @ January 22 2011, 11:37 PM GMT

No, he's two doors down. I often see him walking past my window holding a plastic bag. I sometimes wonder if it contains meat, cans of beer, or something else altogether. . .

Maybe ANOTHER plastic bag!

Quote: Ben @ January 22 2011, 11:35 PM GMT

Now that's what I call a REAL man.

No that's what you call an immature shit with baby H mark I. :(

Quote: Ben @ January 22 2011, 11:38 PM GMT

Maybe ANOTHER plastic bag!

The possibilities are endless. It may keep me awake tonight.

Quote: Matthew Stott @ January 22 2011, 11:39 PM GMT

The possibilities are endless. It may keep me awake tonight.

My money's on a small wren.

Quote: Ben @ January 22 2011, 11:38 PM GMT

Maybe ANOTHER plastic bag!

A lad I work with once admitted to using plastic bags to deposit his jizz in. Quite apart from anything else, it doesn't strike me as particularly eco-friendly.

Quote: Ben @ January 22 2011, 11:40 PM GMT

My money's on a small wren.

You can't be very rich Ben. Even an average sized wren is very tiny...

Quote: Rob H @ January 22 2011, 11:42 PM GMT

A lad I work with once admitted to using plastic bags to deposit his jizz in.

A couple of my friends had a competition to see who could fill up a small lucozade bottle of spunk first. I'm not sure who won, but one of them had to end up keeping it in the garage due to the smell. I saw it a couple of times - whilst nearly full - and it made me feel a little ill.

Quote: Ben @ January 22 2011, 11:45 PM GMT

A couple of my friends had a competition to see who could fill up a small lucozade bottle of spunk first.

Just say Bussell and Stott.

Quote: Ben @ January 22 2011, 11:45 PM GMT

A couple of my friends had a competition to see who could fill up a small lucozade bottle of spunk first. I'm not sure who won, but one of them had to end up keeping it in the garage due to the smell. I saw it a couple of times - whilst nearly full - and it made me feel a little ill.

Sick

Whilst I was still a teenager my mum interrogated me about why I used so many tissues. This was not a happy moment for me. Nearly 20 years on, I still cringe as I recall muttering something about having a very runny nose.

Oh Jesus.

Quote: Rob H @ January 22 2011, 11:49 PM GMT

Sick Whilst I was still a teenager my mum interrogated me about why I used so many tissues. This was not a happy moment for me. Nearly 20 years on, I still cringe as I recall muttering something about having a very runny nose.

Tissues? Should have used a sock-ball like every other teenage boy.

Quote: zooo @ January 22 2011, 11:50 PM GMT

Oh Jesus.

If that was directed at me, I must point out that it was many years ago, and I've now cut down to five a day.

Quote: chipolata @ January 22 2011, 11:54 PM GMT

Tissues? Should have used a sock-ball like every other teenage boy.

I've always been a tissues man. Or toilet roll. I'm not that fussy either way.

Hehe, was just directed at general teenage awkward moments. Why do mums ask these kind of questionssss?

Quote: zooo @ January 22 2011, 11:58 PM GMT

Hehe, was just directed at general teenage awkward moments. Why do mums ask these kind of questionssss?

Will you ask your quadruplet sons the same questions?

Maybe purely to annoy them.

Quote: Ben @ January 23 2011, 12:02 AM GMT

Will you ask your quadruplet sons the same questions?

I suspect/pray Aaron's sterile.

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