British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 1,794

Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 29th November 2020, 8:00 PM

Why do people think it's ok to go against the wishes of someone just because they are dead? Saw a story about David Bowie's estate donating £10,000 to a community centre towards a new car park and they showed the letter that specifically stated not to go public about the donation. Now they have shared it with the world, have pictures of David in the community centre and are planning on a memorial plaque in the new car park. Not exactly keeping it on the down low.

The Estate should demand the money back.

We live in a sexist society. An old lady in the supermarket asked me to get her some tomatoes from the top shelf, I said Fine. Later in the newsagent I asked an old lady to get me a magazine from the top shelf, She said Piss off. Why is life so unfair?

Strange supermarket with tomatoes on the top shelf...

Since when did GOAT become so popular as an acronym for greatest of all time? All it does is make me think of a random goat.

I had seen it about but couldn't be bothered to find out what it meant.:)

Quote: Chappers @ 23rd November 2020, 8:40 PM

So................................

I was SO pleased tonight watching the Chase!

A woman in her 60s started every sentence SO. She should know better at her age!

I was So pleased she got knocked out.

Quote: Chappers @ 30th November 2020, 8:32 PM

I was SO pleased tonight watching the Chase!

A woman in her 60s started every sentence SO. She should know better at her age!

I was So pleased she got knocked out.

I was four years ahead of you there :)

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 20th August 2016, 12:01 AM

People who begin the answer to a question with the word "So.".

As in, "What does your job entail?" "So I design that, manufacture those and then market them both"

When did that become acceptable?

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 30th November 2020, 6:21 PM

Strange supermarket with tomatoes on the top shelf...

Don't spoil my hilarious joke.

Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 30th November 2020, 6:44 PM

Since when did GOAT become so popular as an acronym for greatest of all time? All it does is make me think of a random goat.

Go at it.
The word 'tragedy' actually means 'song of the goat'. I often use that story to break the ice at parties. I don't get invited to parties very often.

American slang, bad punctuation and and rhetorical questions. Aint that the truth!

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 11th December 2020, 6:25 PM

American slang, bad punctuation and and rhetorical questions. Aint that the truth!

Innit!

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 11th December 2020, 6:25 PM

American slang, bad punctuation and and rhetorical questions. Aint that the truth!

darn tootin'

I always abide by grammar regulations. Them's the rules, innit.

Them people what's doesn't talk proper like we does is just morans

Any show with the word 'celebrity' in the title, as I have never heard of any of them. Also the show 'Britain's Got Talent' where they have a juggler from Bratislava in it or a dance troupe from Ulan Bator in it, what is the name of the show again?

We have noticed that one particular TV station has been doing what I believe is common in America, you will be watching the show, Supernatural in fact, and there'll be a bloody pop up for another show I am not at all interested in come up in the corner of the TV, I mean, WTF? I'd love to attend one of their executive meetings and every time someone starts to speak, make a comment about Curly Wurlies, how bland tofu is or anything else equally as banal and unassociated.

Quote: Bob Carolvorderman @ 12th December 2020, 3:18 PM

Any show with the word 'celebrity' in the title, as I have never heard of any of them. Also the show 'Britain's Got Talent' where they have a juggler from Bratislava in it or a dance troupe from Ulan Bator in it, what is the name of the show again

Don't worry. After Brexit we'll have it all back to ourselves again.

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