She will be related to me. I need to silence all these ghastly tabloid rumours and make an official announcement.
I am perfectly happy to marry Melanie C, but she has to propose to me. I can't possibly propose to her as it would contradicked Girl Power. In the meantime, I'm afraid you'll have to wait.
Twitter. I just can't get a handle on it.
A student just texted me, Your a f**king c**t. I said, It's YOU'RE a f**king c**t. I won't tolerate bad language. C**t.
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 19th August 2020, 6:06 AMSee no problem with it and after all the films I've watched, I can now read them without thinking about it.
Well you probably grew up with them.
They keep adding all these f**king reactions on FB: lol, smile, kiss etc. This is the only one they need to add. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nu18d5fP7Ic
Our dog weed on a Spoonville this morning.Pissed me off,I thought she was just going to have a bit of a sniff.
Quote: john tregorran @ 1st September 2020, 1:51 AMOur dog weed on a Spoonville this morning.Pissed me off,I thought she was just going to have a bit of a sniff.
Pissed the dog off too.
When you start to carry something with both hands that you can't put down (because say, it's delicate/heavy/odd shaped and you're going up stairs) and within in a few seconds of this journey your nose/arse/cock/(other) starts to seriously itch.
It's almost as though "someone/something" is 'avin' a larf by activating this excruciating tickle. 
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 4th September 2020, 2:55 PMWhen you start to carry something with both hands that you can't put down (because say, it's delicate/heavy/odd shaped and you're going up stairs) and within in a few seconds of this journey your nose/arse/cock/(other) starts to seriously itch.
It's almost as though "someone/something" is 'avin' a larf by activating this excruciating tickle.
That's the fault of Isaac Newton. If it wasn't for him, you could let go of them and they would just float around in front of you until you were ready to grab them back again.
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 4th September 2020, 2:55 PMWhen you start to carry something with both hands that you can't put down (because say, it's delicate/heavy/odd shaped and you're going up stairs) and within in a few seconds of this journey your nose/arse/cock/(other) starts to seriously itch.
It's almost as though "someone/something" is 'avin' a larf by activating this excruciating tickle.
Quote: Billy Bunter @ 4th September 2020, 7:21 PMThat's the fault of Isaac Newton. If it wasn't for him, you could let go of them and they would just float around in front of you until you were ready to grab them back again.
Terrible invention. It always lets you down.
Yes,it certainly brings you back down to earth.
Quote: Chappers @ 4th September 2020, 7:27 PMTerrible invention. It always lets you down.
Thrrrrrrrrrrrrrump Tishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - I thangyow.
Quote: john tregorran @ 4th September 2020, 11:11 PMYes,it certainly brings you back down to earth.
Thrrrrrrrrrrrrrump Tishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - I thangyow.
People who rip the shit out of other people's valiant attempts to amuse but have themselves posted a grand total of one joke in 17,147 posts and that was from an episode of Just Good Friends that came out nearly 40 years ago and even then it was shit.
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 19th September 2020, 5:00 PMPeople who rip the shit out of other people's valiant attempts to amuse but have themselves posted a grand total of one joke in 17,147 posts and that was from an episode of Just Good Friends that came out nearly 40 years ago and even then it was shit.
Totally misguided people who think they are funny, but are simply boring the pants off everyone, hence no response to their drivel.
Oh, and by the way - that took you two weeks to come up with that riposte? Pathetic.
This HILARIOUS new Facebook photo of a pretty girl next to a guy totally covered in tatoos and body piercing, with the question, 'Your daughter comes home with this. What do you do?!!!!'... Quick as a flash, I wrote, F**k all, it's her f**king decision you blinkered, prejudiced, superficial f**king Neanderthal, what f**king century are you f**king living in? Probably wouldn't want yer daughter hanging out with gays or blacks either, right? You're the kind of f**ker who sees a guy in a suit accused of paedophilia and goes, 'Nooooo - can't be a pedo - he's wearing a SUIT!!!!!!!' It's 2020 dickrash, not 2020 B.C, you don't know FUCK ALL about this guy, he could be Jesus Christ returning for all you know, you just know you don't like his image, so it's f**k him. Well f**k you you f**king fascist f**king f**ker, he's better off without you. Go f**k yourself, Hitler.
Well said mate, well said
That said, if the bloke in the photo came round with YOUR daughter- you would tell him to f**king well f**k off quick f**king sharpish and never ever f**king well come back