British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 1,748

Quote: Paul Wimsett @ 12th January 2019, 6:22 PM

Many presenters are behind desks.

Indeed so, but she wasn't the presenter.

Richard Osman was the presenter, and he and the other eight participants were standing at lecterns.

If you think providing her with a large desk to sit behind while everybody else remained standing throughout the entire program was in no way a device intended to hide her generous proportions, you are of course perfectly entitled to your opinion.

She was the co-presenter. Richard Osman is behind a desk on Pointless. Susie Dent is behind a desk on Countdown. You're reading too much into this, I feel.

Quote: Paul Wimsett @ 13th January 2019, 6:44 AM

You're reading too much into this, I feel.

No matter how much our opinions may differ, I shall always respect your right to be wrong.

I suspect there's more to this than meets the eye. Let's not forget that Richard Osman was standing during a recent episode of Pointless, while all the contestants were seated. "We'll do our bidding sitting down. When we're standing up, we're not bidding."

The verb "To Have" is gradually disappearing from the English Language.

"Have you got the dog?"

"Yes I do." No, no, no! It's "Yes I have."

"Can I get a coffee?"

No, no, no! It's "Can I have?"

"He should of scored."

No, no, no! It's "He should have scored."

When I learned French the first two verbs you learn are Etre - to be - and Avoir - to have. If you don't understand the verb to Have how are you ever going to learn French, or probably any other language?

My primary teacher more or less banned us from using 'get/got'. Can't remember the logic but It's stuck with me and I try never to use either.

Quote: Briosaid @ 4th February 2019, 12:23 AM

My primary teacher more or less banned us from using 'get/got'. Can't remember the logic but It's stuck with me and I try never to use either.

As in "You stupid little get?"

I was taught to say, "I don't have," or "I have," rather than use haven't or have got etc.
So, if asked, "Do you have?" the answer should then be, "Yes I do."

People mixing up their haves and dos. I ask ya! They haven't got a clue, do they!

Years ago a teacher insisted the absolute WORST, most AWFUL, UNFORGIVBALE thing you can do is split an infinitive. He was later outed as a paedo. Interesting set of standards.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 6th February 2019, 11:13 AM

Years ago a teacher insisted the absolute WORST, most AWFUL, UNFORGIVBALE thing you can do is split an infinitive. He was later outed as a paedo. Interesting set of standards.

Did you need to really tell us this? ;-)

I hate people swearing and splitting infinitives. Stupid thing to f**king do.

I'll be honest...sometimes...I need to really swear to really get my point across...and I don't care what I need to f**king split to achieve that.

I'm not apologising. I'm sorry, I'm not.

When people write to me, requesting a reply at my earliest convenience, all I can think of is my potty. When waiters ask, "Would you like a drink for yourself?" I want to reply with, "No, I thought I'd buy a drink for some randomer on another table, if that's okay." But I never do, because they're always so pleased with themselves, I just can't take that from them.

I have a marvellous optician but I have a hard job not laughing when he says (almost every time), 'Now we'll look at your own eyes.'

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