So the replacement debit card arrives and the accompanying letter says that if you are a new customer you will have to wait for a PIN number. If you are an existing customer, you can use your existing PIN. I walk to the ATM and use the existing PIN number. It says sorry, wrong PIN number. I try again. The same message. I go into the newsagent next door and try his chip and pin machine. Sorry, wrong PIN number. I walk home, mumbling more than usual to myself, and ring the bank.
Ah, she says, what has happened here is that they have sent you the instructions for a replacement credit card. Have you lost your credit card too? I say I don't have a credit card and have never had one. Oh, in that case it is just the wrong letter, she says. Wait until tomorrow when a new PIN number should arrive. In the meantime, I can see the transactions you tried to make at the ATM. By trying to use your old PIN number you have inadvertently blocked what will be your new PIN number.
Oh. What do we do then? I have just removed that block from here, she says. Thanks very much. Is there anything else I need to know? Yes, she says. Tomorrow if and when your new PIN number arrives, return to the ATM and press the unblock button. That will enable you to use your new card. I reply sorry. I thought you just said that you have now unblocked it. I have, she says. I've unblocked the ATM for you. But you will have to press unblock on the ATM to unblock all chip and pin machines.
Right. Erm, can I just dig out that letter you sent me? Sure. I'll wait. With letter now beside the telephone, I advise that it is headed Debit Card and not Credit Card. Furthermore, it explains clearly - and I quote here - that replacement cards do not require a new PIN number. Yes, she says. It's badly worded. Replacement card there doesn't mean a card that has replaced one that has been lost or stolen or gone missing. It means a card that has replaced a card damaged by water or something else. I hope, she says, you have a very nice weekend. And I hope you do, I say and down phone!