British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 1,484

Bollocks Lofty enjoy the moment.

Quote: lofthouse @ 4th May 2014, 7:30 PM BST

Not being able to enjoy life even when things are going okay for once

Cos your just waiting for the next time fate decides to take a big shit on your head and spoil things

I hear ya.

Even if everything is perfect (which it invariably never is), I always have the "we're all going to die" to fall back on.

Yup

It's a pisser alright

Also I just spent about ten minutes filling in my postal voting forms for the elections

F**k a duck

Complicated doesn't cover it

Fold this , tear that, sign this, fold that, put this bit in envelope A , fold that, put envelope A into envelope B and DKDNSBSJKHSBSKEHDBXKSJDJDH FUCKKKKOFFFF

I hope I haven't voted Tory by mistake in the confusion

Quote: lofthouse @ 4th May 2014, 8:21 PM BST

Yup

It's a pisser alright

Also I just spent about ten minutes filling in my postal vomiting forms for the elections

then I'm going to

F**k a duck

I hope I haven't voted Tory by mistake in the confusion

You're just a hooligan.

Quote: lofthouse @ 4th May 2014, 7:30 PM BST

Not being able to enjoy life even when things are going okay for once

Cos your just waiting for the next time fate decides to take a big shit on your head and spoil things

Research 'mindfulness'. That and the hypnotherapy are starting to work for me.

Alas I did that and found my mind was full of spiders.

You weren't supposed to be affected by the spiders. That's what it's all about, see. Oh, hokey, kokey, kokey etc.

Quote: lofthouse @ 4th May 2014, 7:30 PM BST

Not being able to enjoy life even when things are going okay for once

Cos your just waiting for the next time fate decides to take a big shit on your head and spoil things

Apparently, we now all need to master our inner-chimps, Lofty. I'm guessing yours looks a bit like this:

Image
Quote: keewik @ 4th May 2014, 8:58 PM BST

You weren't supposed to be affected by the spiders. That's what it's all about, see. Oh, hokey, kokey, kokey etc.

No literally mind full of spiders, something to do with getting eggs laid in my ears when I was young.
No brain just lots of spiders.

nb something that pisses me off people who raise money for pets on Facebook, ok every now and then for an unfortunate accident.
But people raising thousands of pounds per animal for strays with cancer or what not.
They're animals all they know is suffering, give me a shot and put them out of their misery.
Then if you must give money to the RSPCA.

Quote: sootyj @ 4th May 2014, 9:31 PM BST

give me a shot and put them out of their misery.

That's very unselfish of you soots.

Yeh well hand over the bottle of surgical spirits already greedy.

Actually a guy infront of me on the bus today was drinking a cocktail of Tenants Super and Claymore whiskey.
Couldn't help but think this won't end well.

I recall Claymore whiskey from years ago. Is it not one step up from meths?

A very small step.

Quote: sootyj @ 4th May 2014, 9:06 PM BST

No literally mind full of spiders, something to do with getting eggs laid in my ears when I was young.
No brain just lots of spiders.

Arghhhh! Truly? We need details in order to analyse this and its relevance to your zebra phobia. Were they striped spiders?

Quote: sootyj @ 4th May 2014, 9:31 PM BST

nb something that pisses me off people who raise money for pets on Facebook, ok every now and then for an unfortunate accident.
But people raising thousands of pounds per animal for strays with cancer or what not.
They're animals all they know is suffering, give me a shot and put them out of their misery.
Then if you must give money to the RSPCA.

Yes. Humans must come first. Survival.

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