British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 1,395

Why the f**k is our official World Cup song by that twat Barlow?

How will any football supporters - except giiirrrlls maybe - accept this from someone from a "band" cynically put together purely for pubescent girls to cream their knickers to?

Are football fans famous for having discerning musical tastes...?

Quote: Chappers @ 6th March 2014, 12:09 AM GMT

Why the f**k is our official World Cup song by that twat Barlow?

How will any football supporters - except giiirrrlls maybe - accept this from someone from a "band" cynically put together purely for pubescent girls to cream their knickers to?

Much like most bands who reach chart topping success. Yes, even the OldieMcOldies would have been moulded by a record producer to sex up or down a bit.

Quote: sootyj @ 5th March 2014, 7:52 PM GMT

these people are the worst scum in the universe and should be sentenced to life imprisonment on the Northern Line

The only ones worse are people who try and get on the tube before any one else got off.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W23LKD9Z1hw

Also, when in a thread about things that annoy people, some people single out one of your annoyances as a need for derision.

Quote: Lee @ 6th March 2014, 12:16 AM GMT

Much like most bands who reach chart topping success. Yes, even the OldieMcOldies would have been moulded by a record producer to sex up or down a bit.

Yes, but most did actually begin organically....

Quote: dannyjb1 @ 6th March 2014, 8:57 AM GMT

Also, when in a thread about things that annoy people, some people single out one of your annoyances as a need for derision.

I was agreeing with you.

People who think they can get away with being over sensitive, because of they're great physical beauty.

Quote: reds @ 5th March 2014, 7:45 PM GMT

People on the tube who
1) despite knowing you are standing right behind them, get on the train and stand just inside the door even though there is plenty of room inside the cariage.

That's me, I stand there, leaning on the partition every time. Why?

1) I don't like people touching me, if I stand by the partition, at least a part of me remains unmolested by the swarming mob of dumb animals.

2) I rarely sit down on the Tube, because as soon as I do, a pregnant Aids riddled nun with no legs crawls on and I have to give up my seat. So best I'm out of the way by the doors.

3) In the event of an emergency, I'm outta there suckers. I'll let the dumb animals trample each other to death in the middle of the aisle.

4) I want to be first off when I reach the platform so I can change trains or get out of the station quickly.

5) I'm a big unit, if I stand in the aisle, then everyone has to push past me / hit me with their bags when they want to get off.

6) It's more relaxing to lean against the partition as the train swerves around then hang like a monkey from a bar with a stinky armpit in your face.

And that's why.

Little kids as mascots.

Used to be one per team, now everybody from the captain down to the kit washer has one of the little feckers hanging on to them when the teams walk out.

Haitch..... Angry

Old punks now 50ish banging on about how great the punk scene was. These frauds who now live in charming little semi's or more opulent surroundings giving it large about the establishment, talking revolution and non-conformity yet sitting there watching their huge plasma TV's, polishing their gas guzzling 4 by 4's on their drives, sipping expresso's, and sticking to their diets. "Smash the system!" indeed....Old punks never die they just feed the system they claim to hate so much. Biggest fake of all: John Lydon, Anachronism in the UK. God save the quails eggs eh John? And yes Paul Morley and Tony Parsons-hang your heads in shame too........

Now I mean this in the best possible taste but,

I am getting a little pissed off with the Stephen Lawrence case.

21 years ago ffs.

Quote: Oldrocker @ 7th March 2014, 12:06 AM GMT

Now I mean this in the best possible taste but,

I am getting a little pissed off with the Stephen Lawrence case.

21 years ago ffs.

Not sure what you mean.

But it's still powerfully relevant, like or not the Met is one of the most influential police forces in the UK.

And there's not enough evidence that it's seriously raised its game with regards to some serious charges.

Quote: Oldrocker @ 6th March 2014, 9:28 PM GMT

Little kids as mascots.

Used to be one per team, now everybody from the captain down to the kit washer has one of the little feckers hanging on to them when the teams walk out.

Plus no mascot should be more than half the size of the footballer. It looks weird when they're nearly the same height.

The inevitability of work picking up the second the weather does.

Quote: paulted @ 6th March 2014, 10:26 PM GMT

Old punks now 50ish banging on about how great the punk scene was. These frauds who now live in charming little semi's or more opulent surroundings giving it large about the establishment, talking revolution and non-conformity yet sitting there watching their huge plasma TV's, polishing their gas guzzling 4 by 4's on their drives, sipping expresso's, and sticking to their diets. "Smash the system!" indeed....Old punks never die they just feed the system they claim to hate so much. Biggest fake of all: John Lydon, Anachronism in the UK. God save the quails eggs eh John? And yes Paul Morley and Tony Parsons-hang your heads in shame too........

T'was ever the case.

Reminds me too of this classic:

TELEVISION PERSONALITIES - part time punks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pKkOOQR7_o&feature=kp

Still got my copy. :)

I bet Badge & Lofty remember it too. Possibly too lo-fi for Lazz & Chappers?

Of course, the intended bonus irony of your piece is that the Punks said exactly the same about Hippies at the time. :D

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