British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 1,014

Quote: Booo @ July 3 2012, 8:51 AM BST

Competitive Mum With Smug Grin, looking at my shop bought cake

Booo, you really should consider a healthier breakfast.

Quote: Nogget @ July 3 2012, 8:58 AM BST

Booo, you really should consider a healthier breakfast.

You're right, of course.

Waiting for a bus. The young couple with a baby and a toddler are feeding them crisps and smoking over them. I want to say something.

Cough loudly and repeatedly, making sure that with your last cough you spit into their crisps.

Quote: Booo @ July 3 2012, 8:51 AM BST

Competitive Mum With Smug Grin, looking at my shop bought cake: Ooh, you didn't have time to bake then?

Me: Unfortunately no, I had a full-on day yesterday with meetings, by the time I got back I was knackered. I really wish I had time for meeting friends at Starbucks, followed by Pilates and an organic free-this free-that meal then off home for some wholesome cooking and baking. But we definitely must catch up soon. Bye!

I'd say "nah I was too busy f**king your husband senseless"

as a rather unnatractive bloke, its even more effective when I say it.

Quote: sootyj @ July 3 2012, 9:50 AM BST

as a rather unnatractive bloke,

Ahh :(
Console yourself with the thought that you are at least attractive to flies.

Quote: Booo @ July 3 2012, 9:24 AM BST

The young couple with a baby and a toddler are feeding them crisps and smoking over them. I want to say something.

You do realise that you just posted how much you hate other people judging your parenting skills because of the cake?

Do you think it is then fair to judge other parents so quickly?

Don't get me wrong, they sound like horrible parents, but unless the children are in definite and imminent danger, it might be best to let the authorities handle the parenting situation.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ July 3 2012, 12:21 PM BST

You do realise that you just posted how much you hate other people judging your parenting skills because of the cake?

It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind, surely you knew that!

My ex changed her mind for a badger. It made for better conversation.

Quote: Nogget @ July 3 2012, 1:19 PM BST

It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind, surely you knew that!

My ex changed her mind for a badger bugler. It made for better conversation.

Quote: Nogget @ July 3 2012, 1:19 PM BST

It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind, surely you knew that!

Is it not blatantly obvious that I know next to nothing about women? I don't even know where you put the money in to get them working.

All I do know, is that I like to do a sex on them occassionally.

Yuck. Parents smoking next to their babies, in this day and age, should be arrested. Or at the very least spanked.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ July 3 2012, 1:42 PM BST

Is it not blatantly obvious that I know next to nothing about women? I don't even know where you put the money in to get them working.

Yes you do, you put it by the bed.

Quote: Nogget @ July 3 2012, 1:50 PM BST

Yes you do, you put it by the bed.

Your wife doesn't have a bedside table in the back of the Astra.

Oh yeah, that was a zinger and no mistaking. :P

Oh please on the smoking near children thing. There are plenty of people who never smoke indoors and wait til they're in the open air for their cigarette, whilst still keeping an eye on the kid and making sure they get to school, before going to do the food shopping, going to work to pay for the school stuff and food and rent, picking child up from school, getting them home safely on costly and horrible public transport, ensuring they do their homework and then have a safe and tidy environment to play and eat and sleep in.

No-one thinks smoking is a brilliant idea but cut other people a bit of slack, eh?

And the kids will grow up not only poisoned.

But knowing their parents never really loved them.

Because they smoked near them.

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