Pre-empting the news of another failed batch of sketches I thought I'd post my efforts for this week up.
NJ: William's Wings/Dappy Interview
Added to thread.
GRAMS. Military Procession Music.
GENERAL
William Wales, It gives me great honour to present to you these RAF flying Wings.
WILLIAM
Thank you Sir.
GENERAL
These Wings will allow you to pilot our Sea King Search and Rescue Helicopters. However, due to Military cut backs you can't because they're all broken.
WILLIAM
What about that one over there Sir?
GENERAL
That's an Ice Cream van Wales. Keep up.
WILLIAM
So there's nothing I can fly? How will I get to the Rugby this weekend?
GENERAL
Don't worry Willy! I've subscribed you to Aviation monthly. It's a fascinating new magazine where each month you collect a different Helicopter part. 36 months from now you'll be a Willy in a Sea King.
WILLIAM
But that'll take forever.
GENERAL
Nonsense! You get the first Two issues free.
----Second Sketch -----
MILES
N-Dubz singer Dappy is with us in the studio today. He was dropped by the government's anti-bullying charity after sending bullying text messages to a fan. That's a bit DJ Ironik.
DAPPY
Very clever what you did there Miles... but don't do it again.
MILES
Or what?
DAPPY
Or I'll update my Facebook status to say you're a Nob head.
MILES
But Dappy that would be classed as Cyber Bullying.
DAPPY
No way, I'm not a Cyberman! In the past few days I have stopped over 500 children from being bullied!
MILES
That's amazing! How did you do it?
DAPPY
It was easy, I just stopped threatening to kill them.
MILES
Right. It must have cost you a lot of money to harass so many people.
DAPPY
Not really, I was on O2's Jackass tariff.
MILES
OK, we're getting nowhere here. Dappy, are you 'For' or 'Against' bullying. Because you're sending out mixed messages.
DAPPY
Chill out Miles. You're worse than Ed Balls. And you know with a Surname like Balls he was definitely bullied!
MILES
That's it, I've had enough of you. Give me that stupid Hat!
DAPPY
Oi!
MILES
Now get out of my studio you Weasle faced Goat boy! ...Nobody's allowed to make fun of Ed 'Ball Bag' Balls except me!
The first one wasn't brilliant, to be honest. There's no real 'angle' to it, just two people chatting, so I don't think it worked as well as it could.
Second one I liked, though you should have put in:
"Because you're literally sending out mixed messages"
You got in a Miles joke at the beginning -- always good. And the ending was decent. Could probably be a bit better with more time, but more than adequate as is.
On the whole, liked it. Made me laugh anyway.
Dan
Thanks Dan. And congratulations on getting something recorded!
No worries, I wasn't as happy with my submissions this week as I was last week.
Actually I remembered your words and tried to get a joke in at the start! 
I do tend to also fall into that 2 people chatting trap too, I think I will try to concentrate on improving that with my next batch.
Quote: swerytd @ January 21 2010, 9:55 AM GMT"Because you're literally sending out mixed messages"
Haha, nice! 
No probs.
The 'unique angle' thing is something they are very keen on. Two people chatting is what they primarily get, I suspect, so something *not* like that immediately stands out and that can only be a good thing for a writer!
Dan
I like the Dappy one - and I like the suggestion about mixed messages.