NJ: World Cup Song Sketch

NEWSREADER #1:The England football team has announced that there will not be an official world cup song for this year's world cup in South Africa.

NEWSREADER #1n a separate story, police have been called to ex England Midfielder John Barnes' flat were he has been attacked by a gang. Reports so far confirm that the gang have "hit and hurt him, whilst John tried to defend and attack, there was only one way to beat him and that was around the back". This comes only 7 days after John received a death threat from a group calling themselves New Order. We can now cut to the scene with our field reporter….. What's going on at present Jules?

F/XOLICE SIRENS, CROWD NOISE

FIELD REPORTER#1: (D) We have just received a note from the gang, who are calling themselves The Lightning Seeds, the note handed to police simply says "Everyone seems to know the score, they've seen it all before, they just know, they're so sure…"
We have however received a report from one of John's neighbours that shortly before this incident John was attacked in the street by a gang calling themselves Fat Les. They say that John was knocked to the ground by a stream of what seems like Fancy Dress goers chanting "We're going to score one more than you…… ENGLAND". So it appears that John is being targeted by many gangs and as of yet no motive is known. Back to the studio

NEWREADER #1:Jules Rimet, there, Still Gleaming.
END

I was hoping for a better result for you here Jon. There were a few little breakaways but no real shots on target. I think you were lacking a bit of pace and attack in the centre of the sketch to be honest. The Jules Rimet gag right at the death showed flair, but it was too little, too late. Thanks for talking to us.

Quote: Godot Taxis @ January 18 2010, 2:06 PM GMT

Thanks for talking to us.

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You trying to get rid of me?

Nice football pundit style critique! I like!

Hi Jon

It's got potential, but basically it's repeating the same joke a few times. You need a bit of a spin on each line, I reckon, and it needs to build so the second bit is bigger and funnier (probably more exaggerated) than the first, and the third is the big laugh. At the mo' it's too linear.

All I can really see at the moment is a vox-pop:
"Did you hear John Barnes got attacked by a gang? Apparently they hit him and hurt after they got 'round the back."

Also, Newsjack don't really do news reporter-type sketches, so you'd have to change the format in some way.

Hope this helps

Dan

Quote: swerytd @ January 19 2010, 9:38 AM GMT

Hi Jon

It's got potential, but basically it's repeating the same joke a few times. You need a bit of a spin on each line, I reckon, and it needs to build so the second bit is bigger and funnier (probably more exaggerated) than the first, and the third is the big laugh. At the mo' it's too linear.

All I can really see at the moment is a vox-pop:
"Did you hear John Barnes got attacked by a gang? Apparently they hit him and hurt after they got 'round the back."

Also, Newsjack don't really do news reporter-type sketches, so you'd have to change the format in some way.

Hope this helps

Dan

View original

Cheers Dan, will take that on board and begin a re-write, might be alittle late but it can be filed away in the ever increasing "needs re-thinking" section of my sketches

"Topical news is cyclical". You'll be able to use it in four years' time anyway

Dan