Class

INT. DAY – CLASSROOM:

YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN (BETWEEN 18 AND 30) ARE SAT IN FRONT OF DESKS, THROWING THINGS AND MAKING LOTS OF NOISE. DEVON AND GARY ARE FIGHTING OVER A SPECIFIC SEAT. ENTER PETER A 20-SOMETHING, WELL TURNED OUT, GOOD LOOKING MAN WITH GLASSES AND A SELECTION OF FOLDERS UNDER HIS ARM.

PETER
Ok, ok! If you could all get sat down and calmed down, please. [PETER PUTS THE FOLDERS ON THE FRONT DESK AND LOOKS OVER AT DEVON AND GARY] Gary, go and sit in your seat. You know Devon always sits there.

GARY
[SLACK JAWED JUST ABOUT KEEPING THE DRIBBLE IN] But I have to sit on the wobbly chair and the sunshine shines in my eyeballs, sir!

PETER
Come on, you'll be moving around soon anyway. We've got some group work to do.

PETER GOES TO SIT AT THE DESK FACING CLASS. AS HE DOES SO HE NOTICES GEMMA (30 AND ROTUND) BENDING OVER HER DESK AND GIGGLING. HE WALKS OVER TO HER.

PETER
What are you doing now, Gemma?

SHE SITS BACK. REVEALING LOTS OF THE LETTER 'R' WRITTEN ALL OVER THE DESK.

PETER
[SIGHS] What's this, Gemma?

GEMMA
Ugh, sir, stop looking at my 'R's, you sicko!

THE CLASS LAUGHS.

PETER
[UNIMPRESSED] Wipe it off!

PETER HEADS BACK TO HIS SEAT AND ON HIS WAY NOTICES CHARLIE WEARING A BALL GAG.

PETER
Take that off! Come on class you're letting yourselves down today.

PETER FLOPS IN TO HIS SEAT AND SIGHS.

PETER
Right, let's get this taken, shall we.

HE PICKS UP A FOLDER THE COVER READS 'SEX OFFENDERS REGISTER'.

PETER
Aaron? Aaron? [PETER LOOKS UP] Where's Aaron today?

DEVON
He got caught sniffing knickers in Primark, sir.

PETER
Again?! [HE SHAKES HIS HEAD]

DEVON
I keep telling him there aren't any cameras near the swim suits but he never listens, sir.

PETER
[RESUMING; LOOKING UP TO SEE WHO IS PRESENT] Charlie? Devon? Gary? Gemma? Leo? And Peter, that's me so we're all here. Right, now let's get these stuffy clothes off. [PETER STRIPS TO HIS Y-FRONTS] Ok, so is everyone ready for the group work?

END OF SKETCH

Nice idea, but why did you make them 18 - 30? I'd have thought older men and women would have given you more scope for comedy.

You could perhaps have led us off in a different direction - as if this was a class where people learned basket-weaving or French. Then their actions could have become more and more outlandish and perverted until Peter then took the register. Just my opinion though.

This is a good premise Giggle-o but would agree with Kasm in that it hasn't reached its full potential yet. The edit is an improvement, the line:

DEVON
I keep telling him there aren't any cameras near the swim suits but he never listens, sir.

Gave me a chuckle. Nice stuff.

Quote: Kasm @ January 13 2010, 10:53 AM GMT

Nice idea, but why did you make them 18 - 30? I'd have thought older men and women would have given you more scope for comedy.

You could perhaps have led us off in a different direction - as if this was a class where people learned basket-weaving or French. Then their actions could have become more and more outlandish and perverted until Peter then took the register. Just my opinion though.

View original

You don't get too many sketch shows using the over 30/40s. It was a bit of an unconscious decision really, tbh.

I tried to keep it shortish, would run at around 2 - 2 1/2 mins and it would be difficult to establish what the class was for before the register is taken, as it usually happens first (to state the bleedin' obvious). I suppose I could make out he'd forgotten to take it so does it after, like you've said, establishing a more normal class/lesson setting.

Cheers Kasm & Scratchyr (Like the new avatar scratch, very narcissistic marry yourself though!)

Yes of course, it all hinges on the sex offender's register - something I missed on the first read and now it makes sense.

I do think you've correctly pitched this at a level of absurdity that is right for the sketch. There is a good sense of delinquency in the characters that somehow makes them believable. The 'R's' gag is a bit of a groaner but it did work, and worked well.

I get the feeling that this piece is looking for a home that you haven't fully realised for it, just yet. Nonetheless, imo, there' potential.

ev