NJ: New Year Dishonours

One of my failed Newsjack satirical pops this week.

THE QUEEN:
Are we nearly finished Prime Minister? I'm supposed to be working on Philip's racist ad-libs for 2010 and they don't just write themselves.

GORDON BROWN:
Just a few more proposals your majesty. Francis Rossi and Rick Parfitt, of -

THE QUEEN:
(INTERRUPTING) Status Quo? Ah yes, rocking all over one's world. One likes it.

GORDON BROWN:
Er, yes ma'am. Given their exemplary records of cocaine abuse, rock and roll debauchery and never having bothered to learn a fourth chord, we thought OBEs might be in order?

THE QUEEN:
Fine! Who else?

GORDON BROWN:
Cressida Dick, ma'am. The woman in charge of the operation that led to the death of Jean Charles de Menezes. A Queen's Police Medal for distinguished service, perhaps?

THE QUEEN:
One approves, of course. Is that it?

GORDON BROWN:
Just one more - the entertainer Bruce Forsyth. Wouldn't it be nice to knight him, to knight him nice? (LAUGHS AWKWARDLY)

THE QUEEN:
(INDIGNANT) Mr Brown, one must draw the line somewhere!

GORDON BROWN:
Oh dear, Sarah will be disappointed. She's a big fan of Strictly.

THE QUEEN:
You'll get another chance very soon Mr Brown. Every outgoing prime minister can nominate their own honours list.

END

Very nice! I personally wouldn't have included the 'just' in the opening line but other than that, deserved to be on the show.

Nice one. Very good. I particularly like the start and end (bits I struggle with most).

Interesting that you have Brown candidly extolling the ineptitude of the candidates rather than veiling it as a sort of positive….

BROWN: I propose Status Quo for services to the economy - economy of chord usage and, of course, their massive contribution to the Columbian economy.

Your 'dishonours' approach tells us more about Brown.

Maybe you lost out due to subject-matter fatigue: I expect there were quite a few Honours sketches. I submitted one but it's nothing to write home about. Very useful to compare approaches.

Thanks Giggle and Larkin. In the cold light of day I wonder if I should have lost the final 2 lines.

Liked it.

But maybe you could have finished it like this:

THE QUEEN:
(INDIGNANT) Mr Brown, one must draw the line somewhere!

GORDON BROWN:
(EQUALLY AS INDIGNANT) Suit yourself. Every outgoing PM can nominate his own honours list, anyway.

The punch is a bit subtle, the joke could do with be hammered home. Everyone is so convinced that Gordon's time is up that they need reminding it is not inevitable in order to register he joke.

Did Cressida Dick really get a gong? Dear God.

Cheers again for feedback folks.

@Kasm - that's a much neater ending. A reminder to be tidier this week.

@Timbo - yes, Cressida Dick did really get the Queen's Police Medal. The truth, as they say, is stranger...

Hey Badge.

Good sketch, but I agree with you: lose the final two lines (or replace with something better). Don't think they bring anything to the party.

Dan