INT. DAY – 'WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE' SET. CHRIS TARRANT IS SAT OPPOSITE A YOUNG MAN LOOKING NERVOUS.
FX. INTRODUCTORY JINGLE.
TARRANT
Welcome back. Before the break, Dean McGuire answered C. Pork Pie, to the question 'What type of hat did Gene Hackman wear in the film 'The French Connection'?'. Are you confident, Dean?
DEAN
Kind of, but less so now you're dragging things on.
TARRANT
Well, you should be confident! It's the right answer!
FX. TRIUMPHANT JINGLE.
TARRANT
Well done, Dean, you've done fantastically so far. You stand to become the first contestant to answer all the questions without having used a single lifeline.
DEAN
Don't jinx me Chris!
FX.THE AUDIENCE LAUGHS.
TARRANT
Ok Dean, this is it, for the big prize. The Top Hat Abraham Lincoln was famed for wearing is in which museum? A. The American Hall of Heroes, Colorado B. The Smithsonian Institute, Washington C. Miracle of America Museum, Montana or D. The New York Historical Society.
DEAN
B. The Smithsonian Institute. I've been there!
FX. EXCITED MURMURS FROM THE AUDIENCE.
TARRANT
Take your time, Dean. This is for the big prize.
DEAN
No, I'm sure of it. B. Smithsonian museum. That's my final answer.
FX. FINAL ANSWER JINGLE.
TARRANT
Dean [HUGE PAUSE] You're wife chose C. So it's a good job you're in the seat! Congratulations, you've won!
DEAN
Yeees! In your face Mr Piper. I told you I'd become a millionaire!
TARRANT
Err, no, Dean you haven't won a million, you've won a job as a hat maker.
DEAN
What the f...
TARRANT
Sorry Dean, I think you're confused. This is 'Who wants to be a milliner'. [PAUSE] Didn't you wonder why all the questions were about hats?
DEAN
I just thought I got lucky.
END OF SKETCH
