GORDON BROWN IS WRITING A LIST.
GORDON
I will smile more often, I will be nicer to people crippled because I won't buy helicopters, I will stop drawing Alistair's eyebrows on with magic marker when he falls asleep.
ALISTAIR DARLING WALKS IN
ALISTAIR
I knew it was you! But why bother we've only get 5 months, if we don't get those carpets clean Dave Cameron will charge us when he moves in.
GORDON
Carpet cleaning is expensive. And I only draw the eyebrows when you fall asleep when I talk about prudence.
ALISTAIR
But Gordon no one ever keeps newyears eve resoloutions. It's been scientifically proven by scientists, proper ones. Not like the ones who predicted our budget.
GORDON
Hmm that gives me an idea. I promise to keep borrowing billions of pounds, I promise to stop buying helicopters, I promise to stop spying on people.
ALISTAIR
Aah very clever Gordon. Except you fail at everything you ever do anyway. So what happens if you fail at failing?
FX
LOUD EXPLOSION
GORDON
Oh dear it would appear the universe explodes...how imprudent. And I love prudence...
FX
ALISTAIR STARTS TO SNORE.
GORDON
That's it you little sod I'm giving you a moustache.
FX
SOUND OF DRAWING.