INT. HEAVEN. PEARLY GATES.
STEPHEN HAWKING IS AT THE PEARLY GATES WHEN SAINT PETER APPEARS.
PETER:
Open that ruddy gate, I say, open that ruddy gate. Oh, you're a quadriplegic, I'll let you in then. Name?
HAWKING:
H a w k I n g.
PETER:
Are you a robot? We don't like your sort in here.
HAWKING:
N e g a t I v e. I t's S t e p h e n.
PETER:
Stephen Hawking, yes. You're that clever clogs aren't you? You'll be in good company lad. Norris McWhirter is here, he runs the quiz every Thursday.
HAWKING:
(FX COMPUTER SOUND)
PETER:
What's that? You're not much of a conversationalist Hawking. I suppose I needn't complain, most folk never shut up. The lies I hear from them just to get into this place. Ok, lets go down the list.
HAWKING:
W h a t l I s t?
PETER:
To see if you've been a good boy, though at first glance Hawking, you'd have hardly been up to much extra-curricular hanky panky or any form of hanky panky.
HAWKING:
T h r e e k I d s.
PETER:
Not your own surely? Mind you, the way science is going, they'll be able to grow a human from a potato soon. Ok Steve, did you worship god?
HAWKING:
T h e r e I s n o g o d.
FX WHEEEE SOUND AS TRAP DOOR IS OPENED AND HAWKING AND WHEELCHAIR DISAPPEAR.
PETER:
Smart arse!
